What If I'm an Angel...

this is absurd (save it for a rainy day)

2009-10-31T00:12:22Z

I'm not sure what I'm dressed as. I'll be sure to take pictures, though. Somehow. Eventually. XD Really I would like to put on some makeup but I am just too lazy.

In other news, though, I have a lot of fic ideas, and I want someone other than me to write them. XD I know that sounds awful, perhaps, but really - what I used to do was to just cling to ideas and keep them secret and hoard them so no one could write them but ME and - well, I'm glad I've gotten over that. So I suppose this can be considered just a prompt post? Things are under the cut and if anyone is interested they are welcome.

Debating about a fic I'm writing and whether or not I want to post it on FFN. ~~Scary Russians, guys! I'm scared of the Russians D:~~ MORE IMPORTANTLY I want to do this meme again, people are all loud in my head and it might be entertaining? Or something. /whores self out

SO YEAH ask any of my puppets a question and they will answer you. IC. More or less. Crack will probably happen. It might be amusing. I swear. XD

DONE NOW I go away other than the fact that it makes me :( that Yuletide has gotten drama!!!! lately, and I wish I were brave enough to watch scary movies. I'll probably just spend all of tomorrow reading the summaries or going on VH1 to watch 100 scariest movie moments or something. XD We'll see if I can get a life before this concert that I am psyched for, by the way.

I'll have something worthwhile to say in a little bit, promise.

-Anything involving Sons of Feanor, particularly each separately, interacting with their father. I want to see their interaction and want even more to see what the differences are. Pseudo-canon is totally cool.
-Celegorm’s (mostly, though I’d take others too) death from Dior’s POV is something I’ve wanted and can’t seem to write myself. :(
-Perscitia and Lily. What would they do? Or really Perscitia and anyone, just more of her. Also more Lien and Iskierka would be fantastic, I feel like they would be a dynamic set to read.
-Anything with Sandor and Arya interacting. I can't seem to do it but I just love love love their dynamic. Not enough of it thar is.
-Durand/Maximilien or really anything with Maximilien of Le Chevalier D'Eon. Extra points for shippyness but it doesn't have to be there. >.>

Also to do! More top fives argh, Temrerfic, Robbkidlets, finish seven sins fic.

And AH YES NaNo starts in two days, I don't filter posts in general, but I do filter all writing I may post - anyone interested in seeing what I may post over the month, if you would like to be added to my writing filter comment here?

...this song makes me want to cry, even when I'm in a good mood. :(

Book Review: The Gathering Storm

2009-10-30T15:25:51Z

I'm going to try to be coherent here. I know I won't quite manage, but I will make my best effort.

First and most importantly: was it "good?"

Oh yeah. Yeah, it was good.

Things happen. The pace is picking up. It's a return, for me at least, to the wonder of first picking up the earlier books, unable to stop reading, just - hooked. While I have since read a number of criticisms of the series and a number of very highly acclaimed fantasy serieses, Wheel of Time, I am pleased to see, has lost none of its shine. I would recommend to people who were discouraged by the slow bit in the middle of the series to pick it up here after reading a summary of whatever books they don't want to read. But of course, I am probably biased.

So was it good? Yes. And I'm satisfied.

I should note before going any further that I made a point of not looking up at what point Brandon Sanderson started writing; but I couldn't tell. Just personally. Well done Brandon, I'm proud of you, at least. ~~Haters to the left!~~

And you know? With the books I've been reading lately (lately being over the past four years) I have to say: I liked the ending. With sudden optimism and slight THE POWER OF LOOOOVE and all.

Okay, time to get more specific. Yeah, there were things that disappointed me, but I'll start with the things I liked. First and foremost: Rand. I've always liked him, and I liked him even more here, even as I did want to bang his head into a wall because you! idiot! But nonetheless, watching his progression even through this book was even more intense than it has been over the series, peaking at chapter 23 when my brain was approximately going "!!!!!!" without pause. He was dark, he was bleak, he was cold, he was glorious. And okay, I fangirl over crazy not!heroes all the time, but still. I was pleased. And curious to see how the fanbase will react. If it'll gain any Rand converts. Probably not.

The other characters: I almost liked Egwene. This is really alarming, but not as much as almost liking Gawyn, though he really needs to get over this thing about Rand. Seriously, boyo, it sounds like you're just jealous to me. But as someone who has, in book jargon, found Gawyn a "wool-headed idiot" since day one, I actually almost liked him here. He was kind of charmingly clueless. Maybe he and Robb would get along? But probably not, I like Galad and Robb better. /off topic

Mat - zorpisuttle the only other flister who has finished, expressed some dissatisfaction with his character in this book - that he'd become too comic relief-y. And I can see that, but overall it didn't jar too badly with my general perception of Mat, though I was a little disappointed. I want to see more of serious!impressive!general!Mat as in the last book. Perhaps he will turn up later. This was Rand and Egwene's book. I was happier about the Rand part.

Favorite parts...psycho Rand, obviously, in case you hadn't gathered. The part where Semirhage made him almost kill Min hurt me lots. As I'm sure you can imagine. (More on this in my "what I need to see next book" section.) Any bit where Semirhage was being her cold and creepy and very very menacing self, what? Don't look at me like that. And favorite favorite favorite? Was angry!daddy!Tam being all WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOY on Cadsuane's ass. I have been wanting someone to do it for ages. I am firmly in the "Cadsuane pisses me off a little" camp, though her motives are admirable she is going about it abysmally - and firstly I loved seeing Rand being all awkward and kind of shy and I want more Dragon Reborn!Rand and his daddy please now? I also loved Tuon and her facing down Rand, and Nynaeve being all LEAVE MAT ALOOOOONE and Tuon and Mat spending generally too much time thinking about each other. Awwwwwww. The Hinderstap bit was - I liked it. It was a little ridiculous! But I liked the explanation, too. That would be a damn weird life to live. ~~And seriously, zombies in my Wheel of Time? WHAT NOW!~~

AND NOW things I want to see in the next book - what's going to happen with Min? They're in an awkward place now. Actually, just the reaction to the change in general. Also, what the hell is Taim doing, it makes me nervous that we haven't seen him lately. Aaaand of course I would like to see more Aviendha, as I'm sure I will, and DAMN Moiraine needs to come back already now.

If I look at Forsaken tally, who's left? Mesaana, Aran'gar, and Demandred is almost it, isn't it? I can't think of anyone else.

Things I didn't like, now...I was disappointed with Semirhage and how quickly she was broked. I feel like it should have been harder. This might be because I like Semirhage for some reason. She makes such elegant threats, it's pretty. /not psycho swear. However, I did like that her weapon first and foremost was her intimidation and cold calm. Shiny. Fortuona makes me wince a little. I'm still going to call her Tuon, don't even care. :| *stubborn* I can't currently think of too much else.

I feel ridiculous for feeling like the guy in the prologue was going to die. I have clearly read too much GRRM lately.

So yes, in conclusion - I liked it. I liked it a lot. I liked it a lot a lot. And I'm very curious as to how other people will react.

And really, really need the next book right about now.

ETA: OH YES my new project is making a fanmix that tracks Rand's character arc. Because. If anyone has suggestions they are welcomed with joy! For any point, really. Though I already know I am using this song for sure for this book. Is my Rand song.

FST: Silmarillion: Ill-Gotten Son

2009-10-24T03:17:17Z

I love how the part of the fanmix that takes longest is not the music gathering or the posting or the lyric getting. It is making the cover art, because my Photoshop is so freaking slow. Aaaaugh. :( I need computer doctor to see my computer. Will call, I think.

Medium: Book
Fandom: Silmarillion
Title: Ill-Gotten Son
Subject: Maeglin
Notes: The longest I've made, in a while. I just kept finding things and it's been in process a while...so here it is, ~~everyone's~~ my favorite seriously fucked up elven kiddo. Pseudo canon, ahoy! Also more of a story than my other fanmixes have been in a while. No, I don't know why either.

DOWNLOAD ZIP HERE

Don’t Be Scared –Hannah Fury
Please just don't be scared
Don't be scared
Don't be sad
It will be all right
This too shall pass
Just get through one more night

Introduction. Maeglin: the boy with just about every issue you can name. And 'all right' is a very large lie.

Caleb – Sonata Arctica
His mother came up with such a clever way to save the day with a little white lie.
He thinks he missed the point back then, but now he's grown to understand it, in a way.
Father said "I'm sorry" only once, as I remember,
"Words weren't meant to hurt, only destroy you, my stupid son..."
One person can make a difference, sometimes...

Growing up with Eol and Aredhel; a father who's halfway insane and a mother who wavers between Stockholm induced affection, days that are quiet and relatively happy and days he spends as quiet as he can so as not to be noticed by his father's unpredictable temper...

Mama Who Bore Me (Reprise) – Spring Awakening
Mama who bore me
Mama who gave me
Mama the angels
Who made me so sad

...and the mother he worships and adores.

Boy Decide – Murder By Death
boy, decide,
you're too old to fuck around
and too young to die,
time to try life on for size
now the time has come
to pull yourself out of the mud
and fix yourself up
hell don't you care how you look

"...and they rode often to the eaves of the wood, seeking the sunlight; and desire grew hot in Maeglin's heart to leave Nan Elmoth for ever. Therefore he said to Aredhel, 'Lady, let us depart while there is time! What hope is there in this wood for you or for me?'"

The Cross – Within Temptation
Why have you waited to embrace me my dear?
Cold is your silence, denying what is real
I’m still wondering why
I’m still calling your name my dear
I’m sorry if you can’t stand the naked truth
All you see is how you want it to be
So you keep on living your life

It isn't everything he dreamed. His mother lies dead and his father curses him as he dies. His place is tenuous at best and he sees mistrust and hatred everywhere. But there is one bright spot that makes up for everything, or should...

Sleepwalker – Nightwish
Sleepwalker seducing me
I dare to enter your ecstacy
Lay yourself now down to sleep
In my dreams you're mine to keep

Idril, his cousin, and a love that rapidly turns toward obsession...

The Horror of Our Love – Ludo
I'm a killer, cold and wrathful
Silent sleeper, I've been inside your bedroom
I've murdered half the town
left you love notes on their headstones
I'll fill the graveyards until I have you.
Moonlight walking, I smell your softness
carnivorous and lusting to track you down among the pines.
I want you stuffed into my mouth
hold you down and tear you open, live inside you -
love, I'd never hurt you.

A dark and increasingly dangerous obsession.

Everything I Do (I Do It For You) – Bryan Adams
Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

He tries to love, tries to express himself to her, clumsy attempts at flirtation. In some ways, he does love her; it's only that that love has gone too far and the lack of return slowly wears away at his patience and few remaining scruples...

Fuego! – Murder By Death
She walked with fire at her heels
The scent of smoke on the breeze
Where ever she goes that's where i'll will be
Whatever she wants that's what i'll need
Baby its been long that even the roses hips have turned me on
Baby it's been so long</i>

He can't stop thinking about her, and he wants her, has to do something, make one last desperate try...

Somewhere Only We Know – Keane
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

...and then comes Tuor. And suddenly, in one stroke, everything he suspected is true. She never loved him, no one has ever loved him, and he is not indebted to anyone.

Where the Wild Roses Grow – Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he knelt above me with a rock in his fist

On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow
And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief
As I kissed her goodbye, I said, "All beauty must die"
And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth

The anger is overwhelming and there isn't an outlet for it. The darkness surfaces. He spends less and less time in Gondolin, where he has to think about everything he has a right to, where he trusts no one, and wanders ever farther afield.

Hall of the Mountain King – Apocalyptica
instrumental

"But often Maeglin went with a few of his folk beyond the leaguer of the hills, and the King knew not that his bidding was defied; and thus it came to pass, as fate willed, that Maeglin was taken prisoner by Orcs, and brought unto Angband."

The Bird and the Worm – The Used
Out of his mind
The weight pushes him whispering
Must have been out of his mind
Mid-day delusions
of pushing this out of his head
Maybe out of his mind
(Out of his mind)

All alone he turns to stone
While holding his breath half to death
Terrified of whats inside
To save his life
He crawls like a worm
Crawls like a worm from a bird

"Maeglin was no weakling or craven, but the torment wherewith he was threatened cowed his spirit, and he purchased his life and freedom by revealing to Morgoth the very place of Gondolin and the ways whereby it might be assaulted."

Secret – The Pierces
Got a secret
Can you keep it
Tell me this one you'll save
Better lock it
in your pocket
Taking this one to your grave
If you show you I know you
Won't tell what I said
Cause two can keep a secret
If one of them is dead

Maeglin has a secret too dark to tell, even if he wanted to. And he does, sometimes. But then he'd have to kill you.

Viva Discordia – That Handsome Devil
Bats in the belfry (Hoo hah)
Rotting on the vine
Can't keep her eyes closed (hoo hah)
Sunny all the time
But your hands up where I can see 'em, boy, keep 'em up high
This place has gone crazy

Slow, insidious madness. Self-justification, self-righteousness, and eventually the betrayer is the betrayed in his own mine, and it was the only choice, after all. They gave him no other, those who have tormented him in Gondolin.

First Few Desperate Hours – The Mountain Goats
We have bad dreams the night he rolls in
And we try to keep our sprits high
But they flag and they wane
When the truck pulls up out front
In the light spring rain
And they sag like withering flowers
Let the good times roll on
Through these first few desperate hours

Now it's just a matter of uneasy waiting...

Everybody’s Fool – Evanescence
look here she comes now
bow down and stare in wonder
oh how we love you
no flaws when you're pretending
but now I know she

never was and never will be
you don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

without the mask where will you hide
can't find yourself lost in your lie

It's all a lie anyway; the world is full of darkness and corruption. What use is there in fighting? None at all. Everything will fall eventually. Or so he tells himself, withdrawing even more from other people, more and more distant.

Paint It Black – Rolling Stones
I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and must have it painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black

He knows his own darkness, but after all, who cares? At this point, he can almost embrace it. Almost just accept that yes, everything is wrong but it doesn't matter, nothing matters. Maybe nothing has ever mattered.

Thorn – Blind Guardian
I'm lost in the depths of his eyes
I can't flee
Inner pain caused insanity
It's deep within
The fear and the hunger
Enslaved and denied
By my love and my enemies
I'm the illgotten son

But not quite. Morgoth haunts him. The price of failure is always a reminder. There's not really any other way to go, though, no other way he can see to get out or get even. And he does want his revenge.

House of Wolves – My Chemical Romance
Well, I think I'm gonna burn in hell,
Everybody burn the house right down.

And I say, hey (hey)
What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.
Tell me I'm a bad man,
Kick me like a stray.
Tell me I'm an angel,
Take this to my grave.

Nothing does matter, though, when the end comes. Or very little. The house is already burning and he's already doomed, he knows.

Mr. Self Destruct – Nine Inch Nails
I am the voice inside your head
and I control you
I am the lover in your bed
and I control you
I am the sex that you provide
and I control you
I am the hate you try to hide
and I control you
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down I use you up
Mr. Self-destruct

But he's hardly even driving his own life anymore. It's not really his, not anymore.

Rev 22:20 – Puscifer
Jesus has risen to no surprise
Even he would martyr his momma to ride to hell between those thighs
Pressure is building at the base of my spine
If I've got to sin to see you again
Then I'm gonna lie lie lie
She'll make you cry
Please suck me dry

Knowing what comes, while the darkness and desires rise, encouraged...

Hurt – Nine Inch Nails
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

He's not immune, still feeling, still young, and somewhere, he does know, and understand, what he's doing - but all the feelings have withered, and all he has left are the memories of a mother he can't quite think of with affection anymore.

Three Wishes – The Pierces
And you want three wishes:
One to fly the heavens
One to swim like fishes
And then one you're saving for a rainy day
If your lover ever takes her love away
Ooh ooh ooh

You say you want to know her like your lover
And undo her damage, she'll be new again
Soon you'll find that if you try to save her
It renews her anger
You will never win

It would be nice to go back. It would be nice to change things and fix everything just by wishing, put a life back together and start over again. But it's too late for that, and he knows it. Nonetheless, he's not letting go yet.

Ex Lover’s Lover – Voltaire
Three heavy stones will keep it from floating,
weigh it down to the bottom, food for the fishes.
And I know that it won't be discovered
'cause I will be careful, so very careful.
What if it doesn't rain for days and the river is
reduced to its muddy bed?
With a corpse exposed I would work in haste
and I might bury the bones in a shallow grave.

One last try. He'll take Idril away with him, kill Tuor, eventually she will come to love him, just as his mother came to love his father. Eventually she will stay, eventually she will understand.

Damaged – Assemblage 23
I am merely the product
Of the life that I've lived
An amalgam of sorrows
And the wisdom they give
But the weight has grown heavy
And its dragging me down
It's so hard not to sink now
But I don't want to drown

As he falls, one last plea from the boy who never quite grew up: it's not me, it's not my fault. It's everyone else, that's all. None of it is my responsibility; he started it. Who knows if even he believes it?

Valley of the Weeping – Steve McDonald
You came as kin
(For we welcomed you with open arms)
We welcomed you in
(As friends we offered all our charms
With food and wine
(Though the land was cold our hearts were warm)
We treated you kind
(For we gave you shelter from the storm)
But beneath your smiles...

The dead of Gondolin have no forgiveness for their traitor. Why should they?

John Wayne Gacy, Jr. – Sufjan Stevens
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
He'd kill ten thousand people
With a sleight of his hand
Running far, running fast to the dead
He took off all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips
Quiet hands, quiet kiss
On the mouth

And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid

A last look at Maeglin, son of Eol and Aredhel, who died unmourned.

The Collapse of Laputa – Joe Hisaishi
instrumental

"...and Tuor fought with Maeglin on the walls, and cast him far out, and his body as it fell smote the rocky slopes of Amon Gwareth thrice ere it pitched into the flames below."

Like a Rose On the Grave of Love – Xandria
Indeed, reality seems far
When a rose is in love with you
Slaves of our hearts, that's what we are
We loved and died where roses grew

A waste of a life that could have been good. The end of a darkness that could have been worst. Either way, here it ends.

FIN.

bats in the belfry

2009-10-23T04:19:29Z

I am obsessed with the song "Viva Discordia" by That Handsome Devil. It is so freaking catchy oh my god. Kind of ridiculous. Doing pretty well overall, really glad that this week is almost over. Mostly updates!post and some writing things. November is coming, did you bring your coat? More on NaNoWriMo as it gets closer. Though "closer" will be pretty soon. Also Wheel of Time in a few dayssss!

I'm a bit excitable now. ...and GOD THIS SONG. It's weird but I can't stop listening o.o

In other news, look what came in the mail today!

Thank you for your attention!
I think i'll write you some thing soon, but not too soon:
1) I do not have much skill in writing in inglish & in constructive criticism, it's easier to me to say "I like it" or "I don't", "I agree" etc.
2) I have some things to do rather soon, for the beinnig of November.

But ti write something useful, here is the first question:

"The journey back was longer, and harder, than he’d ever imagined it might be. Somewhere, he’d never thought about the way back. Somewhere, he’d assumed they would simply ride in triumphant, heads held high and proud."

But why& The situation ih whole (in Silm) doesn't seem simple and happy, and Fingon, going north, doesn't know, is Maitimo dead or alive, and how he can save him (or avenge him, may be)...

May be *your* Fingon have more reasons for future triumph (vision? prophesy? conclusion?). I'm ready to beleive but I want to know why.

(Well, I want to pose spme other questions, mostly about "In Rooms Unfamiliar But Until Now". I have no question about "Minor Details, Starring Feanorians", I simply like it as "To remember" too...)

Full text, right there. And it's a good point. >.> Though I am a little edified by the confirmed lack of really good English. And she hasn't mentioned anything about the posting on her journal. But this is basically what I was looking for. And while I can argue my point here, I will probably not and just see what else she has to say. But people were curious, so I thought I'd offer that.

We'll see if more comes of it.

Secondly, I counted and have twenty prompts on the Five Things meme. Writing them in drabbles or sort of, so these will be coming a bit at a time, though I'm hoping to get them all done before too long so I can work on extending those 'one sentence fics I've never written' prompts I want to expand.

FOR THE MOMENT THOUGH.

One. She and Petyr sat very close in the godswood, and Petyr smiled at her and tilted his head in that little fashion that made her think of a mockingbird. “You said you had something to tell me, Petyr?” She was a girl, then, barely a girl, and he was younger, but he had long since abandoned male playmates.

“Not really,” he said, with a smile that was just charmingly sheepish, “I just wanted to spend some time alone with you.” He twirled a flower between his fingers, and offered it, awkwardly. “…for you.”

Catelyn took it, surprised, and then smiled, blushing, and leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Petyr! You think of such things…I’ve never known anyone so thoughtful as you.”

Two. She had always expected a betrothal, but was worried anyway. Nasty whispers said that the Starks were all like ice, especially in bed. The kinder ones assured her that the Starks were very noble and upstanding, an old and proud family. What if I am not good enough, she wondered? What if I am not what they expected?

She met Brandon with her father beside her, when he strode into the hall grinning broadly and almost apace with his father, eyes scanning the hall, and when their eyes met her heart fluttered just a little, and she could see his face, friendly and open, light up.

“No wonder you’re keeping her tucked away,” he said, with a bow, “Or anyone could steal her.”

She blushed, and her father frowned, slightly, but for herself, she felt her heart leap. He had a very nice smile.

Three. He’d given her months of discomfort and hours of pain, of agony so that she had nearly expected to die. She hadn’t. And as the midwife bent over her and handed her the babe, still squalling, she took him in her arms with a little bit of dread. So much responsibility, now, for this small and fragile thing-

He did not sound so fragile, though, her firstborn son, bawling and waving his fists, thin patch of red hair already visible on his head, darker for the damp. She brought him to her breast with the help of the midwife and he latched to her hungrily, suckling greedily, warm and soft, and she felt a little weak.

Her son. “Robb,” she whispered, and touched his head, tenderly, “His name is Robb.”

Four. Her husband seemed nervous, and was certainly quieter than Brandon – he did not speak much, his face solemn and almost stern. She felt too young, riding next to him, and chilled by his lack of warmth when she was used to the liveliness of at the least her siblings – Edmure had never been so quiet, he and Brandon had gotten on well.

But they rode into Winterfell all the same and it towered into the bright blue sky just as icy as its master, or so it seemed to Catelyn. She pretended to be happy, though, and amazed, or at least tried her best. Her husband was watching her, and she didn’t want to fail in her duty.

He brought her inside and it wasn’t drafty, in fact seemed rather warm, but she didn’t understand until he took her to a room where steam filled the air and sunken bowls of water delved into the floor. She gasped, just a little, and Eddard looked sideways at her.

“I know you must be used to a warmer place…I thought I should show you these first, to help you adjust. They are yours, whenever you want…”

He sounded so anxious, and suddenly she was endeared, and wondered if his quiet was only shyness. She leaned over and kissed his cheek, and her smile this time was genuine, heart warming and unclenching. “It’s perfect,” she said, softly, and reached to take his hand.

Five. Her youngest boy toddled over to her, barely walking at all but grabbing at the air, and she caught him just before he fell forward. “Careful, Rickon,” she said, sternly, lifting him, and he reached for her face, grabbed at her nose.

He was a loud boy, boisterous even more than his older brothers had been, needier, fiercer in his demands for attention. And he seemed slower to learn, as well. She sighed and smoothed his flame red hair back. Though she knew it would darken as he grew to auburn.

Rickon bit her finger, opened his mouth, and said, suddenly, “Mama.”

Even after four children, that particular first word still brought warm tears to her eyes, and the way he nuzzled against her and said it again made everything all right.

------

One. ::No,:: said Gideon, his tone like a slap. Felix started backward in surprise and couldn’t help himself from staring at his lover, who stood, expression impassive. ::No, Felix.::

“Gideon, why not, it won’t hurt-“

::I am not going to help you smooth things over when your brother is rightfully angry with you. Mildmay and I have no quarrel, and I will not become part of yours.:: Felix looked blankly surprised, as though he had never considered the possibility of a refusal. Just for a moment, satisfaction seemed to flicker on Gideon’s face. ::That is my final word. I cannot help you. Some problems you must solve on your own.::

“I can’t,” Felix said, weakly, and Gideon turned, expression slightly angry, and that Felix could read easily.

::Then you will not. Excuse me.::

Two. “I don’t deserve you,” Felix said, in a small voice, curled up in an armchair and watching Gideon with almost fearful wide eyes. “I don’t deserve what you give me, Gideon.”

::No, probably not. If you do not stop drinking I will throw all your bottles out the window, do you hear me?::

“Why did you come back? Why would you ever come back? You shouldn’t have. I would be fine. You and Simon get along well…”

::Do you want me to leave, Felix?:: There was a touch of peevishness in Gideon’s voice. ::It is not a lightly made decision. If you are so eager to foist me off, though, I would not make myself a bother.::

“No! No, that’s not it,” Felix protested, looking more concerned. “That’s not it at all, it’s only,”

::Shut up, Felix.::

“Only that you could do better than me, and I don’t want to hold you back from – greater things-“

::Felix. I mean it. Shut up.::

“That would be unfair, I couldn’t be unfair to you. Not after – everything.” Gideon’s eyes rolled, and he stood up and quite suddenly kissed Felix, firmly. Felix froze, eyes widening with surprise and then softening with desire.

::There,:: Gideon’s mind-voice said, ::That’s better.::

Three. “Darling,” Felix drawled, lazily, lifting his glass, Gideon did not return the greeting.

::Felix. If I hear anything of you and Isaac Garamond again…can I trust you? You have been nothing but unfaithful.::

“Unfaithful,” Felix said carelessly, “Is all I know how to do. I am a whore.”

::Yes,:: Gideon snapped, ::But you need not act like one. Felix, am I not enough? Am I worth so little to you that you would cast me aside at the first sign of a likely toy?::

“Not cast you aside, darling. Put you on a shelf for a moment, perhaps. By all means, indulge yourself as well. I wouldn’t object.” He sipped the wine, delicately, and must have felt the anger in the room, but ignored it as smoothly as he ignored everything that displeased him.

::I have no desire to. It is you I chose and it is you I would stay with. If you would return the favor.::

“And if I do not?”

Gideon drew himself up. His height was not impressive, but his eyes flashed. ::Then next time you spend the night with that servant of the Bastion, you will return to this suite and find me gone. And I will not return.::

“Darling,” Felix drawled. “Don’t be melodramatic.”

::How I wish you could hear how you sound,:: Gideon said, savagely, and stalked away.

Four. ::You are not Malkar.::

“I don’t know,” said Felix, his face streaked with tears, face pressed to Gideon’s shoulder, his lover stroking his back. “I don’t know. Sometimes I feel it, the potential, there-“

::And you are aware of it. So you can fight it. So you are not him.:: Gideon touched his chin, tilted Felix’s head back. “I won’t lie and say that you have never hurt me. But I do not think that you could ever hurt someone the way he hurt you. And that is what makes you different. You won’t pass on your pain.::

“Don’t I already,” he murmured, looking down again, and Gideon sighed.

::You do,:: he said, tiredly, ::But it doesn’t matter. Not to me.::

“I should just leave,” Felix said, into Gideon’s chest, “Leave, and walk away, or just lie down and-“

::If you ever,:: and now, there was real anger in Gideon’s voice, ::Ever suggest such a thing in my hearing or out of it again, I will gladly slap you silly, Felix. You don’t need self-pity. You’re too intelligent for it.::

He was relieved that Felix didn’t try to answer that.

Five. Felix’s cheeks were too red with drink, his color high and eyes too bright. “Gideon, you know not what you say.”

::I know very well. If you cannot treat Mildmay as he deserves, for all he has given you-::

“Then what? You will leave me? Gideon, you must have threatened that a thousand times. I do not fear it.” He took a few steps nearer, reached out, but Gideon drew back, looking disgusted.

::You are not the man I loved.::

Felix’s hand fell and he stepped back, eyes flashing several different shades for moments, then settling on slightly mad fanaticism. “Where is the man you loved, then? Mad? Dead? I give you everything I have-“

Gideon shook. ::No, Felix. You give me nothing.” He took a step back, slowly, and Felix went rigid. When he spoke, his voice was like poison.

“It is my brother, isn’t it? All along – the both of you, playing this little tryst – that is why you care so much for his well being, why it is such a personal thing for you – you could have said something, Gideon, I would not-“

::Not everything is sex!:: The anger was plainer, then. ::Felix, you will go too far. You will go too far, and you are already nearly there. If you insist on behaving like-::

“Like a whore?”

Gideon drew a breath and he said the words without thinking, with all the venom that had festered with every wound inflicted and every poisoned word. ::Like Malkar,:: and when Felix went very still he knew that he had struck home.

------

One. “Cal…” Niko looked unhappy. That was no good, he didn’t want to make Niko unhappy. The principal looked across the desk at them both, chin folded sternly on her hands, and frowned. Cal ignored her and shuffled his feet. “They said you…bit someone.”

Cal glared, ferociously, at the bookshelf. It would serve for an adequate adversary. “Yeah. I did.”

“You can’t do that,” Niko said, carefully. “It’s not okay.”

“Why not?” Cal challenged, and Niko looked very much like he wanted to hit his head against the wall, which made him feel a little bad. But only a little.

Two. The principal had a large nose. It was a little lumpy, like it’d been made of Silly Putty and someone’d squished it around one day. Cal watched his nose in minor fascination and ignored what he was saying completely. He hadn’t really meant anything he’d said anyway, not really. What did it matter if you didn’t mean it?

The balding man with the lumpy nose leaned over the desk and sighed, shaking his head. “Why can’t you be more like your brother, Caliban?” And he very carefully didn’t answer that question, even if he knew why.

Three. “Caliban, I have had some complaints about your behavior in English…but this is the first time I have felt it necessary to speak to you officially like this. Is it true that you walked out of class on –“ She checked her notes – “Tuesday the 22nd, during the review of Lord of the Flies?”

“Yeah,” Cal said, dryly, slouched in a chair that was quite familiar to him by now, more sullen than angry, hair in his eyes and loose-limbed. “It’s true. I got hungry.”

Four. He was still steamed. It felt like something was boiling under his skin. Stupid kids. None of them knew anything. They could suspend him, expel him, whatever, it didn’t matter. He didn’t feel bad. Not at all. “Caliban, are you aware of Mr. McCall’s injuries?”

“I definitely broke his nose,” he said, standing at the opposite end of the room. God, he hated school principals. They were all the same. Officious, self-important bastards. “He pissed his pants, too. But that’s not really an injury.”

The principal frowned – Ms. McClury or something, what did he care? “He may have a concussion.”

“He’s milking it,” Cal said, offhandedly. “I didn’t hit him that hard.” Of course, if the moron mentioned the rest of it he would be in bigger trouble, and Niko wouldn’t like if he had to go to juvie. The principal stood, looking mildly angry.

“Mr. Leandros, I think you fail to comprehend the severity of your transgression.” Cal looked up at her, coolly, and felt even less remorse.

“No,” he said, “I understand. I understand proper consequences too.” He shrugged one shoulder. “He made fun of my brother. He won’t do it again. That’s all.”

He walked out.

Five. He looked up at the ceiling, contemplating the grain of the wood. It didn’t look like anything, though. It was better than looking at the friendly looking, near-sighted man across the desk from him, leaning forward in a concerned manner. “Caliban, I’m afraid we are very concerned with your erratic attendance record.”

He said nothing, refusing to respond or rise. “We placed you on probation, to no response. I’m afraid we have no choice but to suspend you for four full days and have your mother sign and agreement that we assign you a stricter academic probation.”

Cal looked up, slowly, and was silent. Then he just nodded, slightly. “Yeah. Sure. I’ll get her to sign.”

The principal smiled indulgently. “Thank you, Caliban, I’m glad you understand the priority your education must have. Here’s the form.”

On the way out, he dropped it in the trash and left the school. They’d be leaving New York soon anyway, and he was done with that shit. Completely done with it.

BACK TO WORK *whpcha* Though I warn you in advance some certain ones may be a bit of a long while. >.> I'LL DO MY BEST NOT TO KEEP YOU WAITING ON.

ETA: ONE MORE BEFORE SLEEPINGS.

One. Angrod was in a good mood. Angrod’s good moods were one-thousand times more annoying than Angrod’s bad moods. In fact, Angrod’s good moods were the one thing most likely to put Caranthir in a bad mood within five minutes. If he was generous. Which he wasn’t often in the mood to be.

It was all the enthusiasm! Where did he get it? And it was even worse on days like today, when he’d been yelled at by his brother, his father, and cousin Artanis twice.

Family was so stupid.

He glared at Angrod’s back. “What’s got you so happy?”

“You’re unique, Moryo, in that you need a reason to be happy. Most people just need a reason not to be unhappy.” Caranthir sneered.

“Oh, sure. That’s profound.” Angrod didn’t look up from where he was meticulously doing…something. “What are you making with those flowers anyway?”

“Daisy chain. I lost a bet with my sister so now I have to wear it.”

Disgusting. “Huh. That’s stupid.” Maybe if he could just provoke a brawl. Maybe then his cousin wouldn’t be in such an exasperatingly good mood. Angrod just shrugged, though, and grinned.

“I know you’re jealous, Moryo, I can make one for you too when I’m done. I’ve gotten really good at them. I can probably even teach you now.” Caranthir wanted very much to punch his cousin, for a moment, but Maitimo was watching, so he crossed his arms and looked the other way.

“I don’t want your stupid flowers.”

“Suit yourself,” Angrod said amiably, and didn’t budge. Stupid family. Stupid cousins. Stupid Angrod.

Two. It wasn’t his fault he’d thrown all his crabapples already. But there was Angrod, grinning at him, holding three more, and Caranthir just knew even if it meant getting tackled by Tyelko later Angrod would hit him with all of them, because that was what he always did.

“If you throw those at me,” he warned, seriously, “I will hurt you.” He meant it, too.

Thunk thunk thunk. Right in the forehead. Ears ringing, Caranthir started toward Angrod, furious, who held up his hands. “Surrender, surrender!”

“I warned you!”

“Have to give quarter when I ask!”

Caranthir was stuck on that one. He was even more stuck when Tyelko came over and ruffled his hair, laughing. “You need to keep cover, Moryo.”

He glared at his feet. “I hate you both. Want you to know that.”

“That’s all right,” Angrod said, and grinned. “Rematch?”

Three. “Breathe, Caranthir. You’re going to asphyxiate.”

“I am not going to – whatever you said. I am fine.”

“Yeah, and it’s on your good days you like to throw anvils through windows. Was that an anvil?”

Caranthir’s fists clenched. “No, it wasn’t, and it’s none of your business what it was. I don’t like smithing.”

“I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t know that anymore. Could you yell a little louder, though, just in case?”

“I’m going to hit you. Why are you talking to me?”

“I don’t know. I like expending my time on hopeless causes. Why are you talking to me?”

Caranthir was struck dumb, and did not really have a ready answer to that question. He glared at Angrod, as this lack of response was clearly his fault. “—it’s stupid. It’s all stupid.”

“The range of things you could be referring to there is broad enough to make me nervous that your self-awareness has reached new heights.”

Caranthir’s mouth snapped shut like a trap and he turned his back, furiously. “Go and be clever elsewhere. I’m not going to talk to you.”

“We’re running out of anvils. And that’s funny. You are still talking to me.” Caranthir turned, angrily, but Angrod’s expression was so broadly open that he just…couldn’t do anything about it.

Four. “I hate her.” Caranthir paced, back and forth, anxiously, “Can’t you do something about it? It was just a stupid little fight. Not a big deal. Why does she always have to interfere with everything?”

“That’s my sister,” said Angrod, from his post a few feet away, where he was making more of those damn daisy chains. He claimed they kept his hands busy.

“If she would just keep her mouth shut and not get into everyone’s business I wouldn’t have such a problem, but no, it’s always me, too, she doesn’t care if Findekano starts a fight, of course not, everything he does is fine.”

“My favorite sister,” Angrod continued.

“And it’s really creepy, you know, that thing she does with her eyes sometimes, I don’t like it-“

“Yeah,” said Angrod, suddenly, “And your brothers are stupid, self-centered fools who couldn’t do something right to save their own lives.”

“What did you say?”

Angrod poked a daisy calmly through another. “I call point,” he said, coolly, without looking up, and Caranthir hated him very much, just that moment.

Five. He caught up to Angrod several paces away from the council chamber, grabbed his shoulder, turned him around, and punched him as hard as he could, square in the nose. It broke with a very satisfying crack, and a thoroughly surprised Angrod went down with a strangled noise of surprised pain.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that?”

“I’d guess a very long time,” said his cousin, holding his nose, “Feel better now?”

Caranthir considered that. Frowned. Considered it a while longer. “No. Not really. Want me to fix that?”

“No, thanks. Nice of you to offer, though.” Angrod’s stare was baleful. “If I felt like being as much of an idiot as you and your family are being I’d punch you back. But I don’t think it’d help.” He shoved himself to his feet and turned away.

“Wait,” said Caranthir, irritably, “If you want to-“

“I don’t. It wouldn’t have any point.”

“It’d be fair,” he said, and then felt utterly stupid for voicing that thought at all. The look Angrod gave him clearly agreed.

“I’m not going to respond to that.” He paused. “…you know. I was expecting you to do that a long time ago. Not when I may actually have deserved it.”

Caranthir blinked, bewildered. “…what?”

Angrod reached out, patted his shoulder, and said, “Work on it,” holding his sleeve to his nose. He turned and began to walk away. “Good afternoon, Moryo.” Caranthir stared after him, bewildered, until Angrod glanced over his shoulder and frowned. “I still hate you, you know,” he said, and then turned a side path and was gone. Caranthir tried very hard not to be amused. But it really was awfully hard.

Damn Arafinwëans.

FST: Doctrine of Labyrinths: Our Dangerous Game

2009-10-03T21:42:46Z

Medium: book
Fandom: Doctrine of Labyrinths
Subject: Felix Harrowgate/Robert of Hermione
Title: Our Dangerous Game
Notes: Request of grey_gazania, as might be expected is fully and enthusiastically hateship themed. :D

.ZIP DOWNLOAD HERE

Cannibal's Hymn - Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
But if you're gonna dine with them cannibals
Sooner or later, darling, you're gonna get eaten
But I'm glad you've come around
here with your animals
And your heart that is bruised but unbeaten
And beating like a drum

G.L.M. - ThouShaltNot
And girls like me are sick of being flesh they touch but never feel
For all you know of nervous systems, organs, and insides
Has science taught you nothing of what's underneath the hide?
And girls like me can trace the shadows as they fade away
Running from the sun and dying at the end of day
Girls like me can she'd your body, lose this extra weight
We'll cut your throat if that's what it will take for twins to separate

Senzafine - Lacuna Coil (translated)
All that you will be
has already been written
If he truly exists
This god has failed
Every word pronounced
Will be the mirror of your pain
reflecting the blame
Feeding the hate

I Don't Care Much - Emilie Autumn
I don't care much
Go or stay
I don't care
Very much
Either way
Words sound false
When your coat's too thin
Feet don't waltz
When the roof caves in

Physical [You're So] - Nine Inch Nails
I want your rough house baby
I want this right in your ear
You let me feel your danger
I let you make this feeling clear here
I want the touch of your charms
The heat of your breath
I wanna say all those things
That would be better unsaid

Falling Inside the Black - Skillet
Tonight I'm so alone
This sorrow takes ahold
Don't leave me here so cold
Never want to be so cold
Your touch used to be so kind
Your touch used to give me life
I've waited all this time, I've wasted so much time

Sticks and Stones - The Pierces
Sticks and stones will break your bones
And leave them lying in the mud
But you’ll be scared when we’re alone
Like I might suck your blood
And I could tell you a witch’s spell
But it just might blow your top
And you start to run just as I’m having fun
It's awfully hard to stop

Pain - Three Days Grace
Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Haunted - Evanescence
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down

It's A Dangerous Game - Jekyll and Hyde
A darker dream -
That has no ending -
That's so unreal
You believe that it's true!
A dance of death -
Out of a mystery tale -
The frightened princess
Doesn't know what to do!
Will the ghosts go away? -
Will she will them to stay? -
Either way, there's no way to win!

As Long As You're Mine - Wicked
And just for this moment
As long as you're mine
I've lost all resistance
And crossed some border line
And if it turns out
It's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine

Gothic Lolita - Emilie Autumn
Thank you, kind sirs
You've made me what I am today
A bundle of broken nerves
A mouthful of words I'm still afraid to say
I don't mind telling you
Now that I'm old enough to love
I couldn't begin to even if
My pretty life depended on it
And funny thing, it does

True Love - ThouShaltNot
I'll hold you my love and never let go
I'll hold you my love and I'll never tire
I'll hold you my love by the throat
I'll hold you my love over the fire

Damaged - Assemblage 23
I am merely the product
Of the life that I've lived
An amalgam of sorrows
And the wisdom they give
But the weight has grown heavy
And its dragging me down
It's so hard not to sink now
But I don't want to drown

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Eurythmics
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.

Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

FST: Farewell to Summer Days Part the Deuce

2009-09-22T00:41:59Z

Medium: Book
Fandom: Silmarillion/AU
Subject: Being a (second part of a) soundtrack for this fic by tomboy_typist, by request.
Title: Farewell to Summer Days: A Soundtrack for "The Final Battle"
Notes: Roughly divided by chapter, with quotes! :D

DOWNLOAD .ZIP HERE.

Chapter Eight: The Oathtaking

The Bonny Swans - Loreena McKennit
Oh father, oh daddy, here swims a swan
with a hey ho and a bonny o
It's very like a gentle woman
the swans swim so bonny o
They placed her on the bank to dry
with a hey ho and a bonny o
There came a harper passing by
the swans swim so bonny o

She was sitting quietly by the fire, her head hanging between her knees. Once again, she mused on how trading the helm for the weight of her long hair was a strange trade off.

I Must Be Dreaming - Evanescence
We all live
We all die
That does not begin to justify you
It's not what it seems
Not what you think
No I must be dreaming
It's only in my mind
Not in real life
No I must be dreaming

There was sadness in her eyes, every time, and she sometimes hid to wipe a tear of guilt, but he never seemed to notice the young soldier whose eyes spied his movements.

Lothlorien - Howard Shore
[instrumental]

The Lady of Lorien was beautiful, frightfully so, but her brow seemed heavy with worry.

Teeth In the Grass - Iron & Wine
And when you give me your clothes
And when we’re lovers at last
Fresh air, perfume in your nose
There will be teeth in the grass

“What if I did not want to return to Valinor, brother? What if I had no desire to keep on ? What of it? Can I not make my own choices?”

Truce - The Dresden Dolls
I am the tower around which you orbited
I am not proud, I am just taking orders
I fall to the ground within hours of impact
I hit back when hit
And attack when attacked

“I already have been,” Aredhel cut him, quietly. “I will not be forsworn.”

Chapter Nine: The Lost Road

On Your Wings - Iron & Wine
How we rise when we’re born
like the ravens in the corn
on their wings, on our knees
crawling careless from the sea

On the tenth day, or was it the twentieth, a soft and quiet snow spun down onto the camp's watchmen. Finrod was not sleeping when the cold little specks fell in his hair. He reached to touch it, silently, frowning at the cooling air.

Hope Fails - Howard Shore
[instrumental]

Above his head, the sky was unchanged and dark, as it had been since that dreadful day. He missed the light of the sun, the pale gentleness of the moon, he mused.

Give Unto Me - Evanescence
I've been watching you from a distance
The distance sees through your disguise
All I want from you is your hurting
I want to heal you
I want to save you from the dark

There had been fires. There had been war. Blood had flowed beneath the snow, Finrod could smell it, and the growing stench of death, and he found himself wondering what had become of Arda since the dawn of the world. Something made him uneasy as they neared the plains, as though the air itself had been made foul.

The White Tree
[instrumental]

There was no grass, trees were dead and no bird song could be heard. Then there was water, an island, the traces of what might have once been a large city... but no bridge.

Chapter Ten: Troubled Waters
The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly - Yo Yo Ma
[instrumental]

What manner of an army Turgon and his grandson were leading was the saddest one the Lord of Gondolin could have ever dreamed.

Hope and Memory - Howard Shore
[instrumental]

Times and the foolishness of man both, Turgon thought to himself, darkly. From what he understood, the weapons had been too much for the Edain to handle. The wars their forefathers had fought were without honor and had led to the destruction of all that man had created, or almost.

25 Years - Blackmore's Night
25 years since I woke up trembling
25 years since that terrible dream
I could see that the world was crumbling
Nothing is ever as it seems
Tried to run but my feet were frozen
Tried to scream but there was no sound
In my head voices echoing
Girl you should know better by now

And still, the host of broken men walked on. By now, the elves barely noticed the decay that surrounded everything. They had been told that this place was once a great port, from which this country sent its bounty to the less fortunate lands across the ocean. They were told that other groups of hidden men were marching to meet them, from across the globe.

The Dragon Boy - Joe Hisaishi
[instrumental]

Turgon nodded, weighed his words. “I wonder,” he said, slowly, “what is worth saving, in this world.”

Run Free - Hans Zimmer
[instrumental]

Ronnie nodded, only once. “They do. They want to fight as well, tooth and nail, if they can. There are whispers that this is their world, that you and your guards only came to lead them to it. They see you for an envoy from the heavens and their God, my Lord. Will you disappoint them, and send them away?”

Flight to the Ford
[instrumental]

The remainder of the boy's babble was lost to Turgon as he read the name on the hull.

U.S.S. Arcadia.

Chapter Eleven: Of Fire and Water

Skellig - Loreena McKennit
Many a year was I
Perched out upon the sea
The waves would wash my tears,
The wind, my memory
I'd hear the ocean breathe
Exhale upon the shore
I knew the tempest's blood
Its wrath I would endure

The Eldarin fleet had set sail under a starless sky.

At the prow of the ship, Aredhel held herself as proudly as she could. Discovered, now, there was no need for her to remain under the cover of dirt and blood, and so her face was free of that shield as the black winds chased away her tears.

Ascension of the Spirit - Evanescence
[instrumental]

EdenEcho - Kamelot

First you said that you would never leave me,
Merry were my days.
Then you told me life is never easy,
And left without a trace.
But how come I want you,
Like the soil yearns for the rain?

She'd wanted to scream, then, that it wasn't true, that he would never do such a thing. She'd thought of jumping from the ship's highest deck, but her brother Argon had leapt and tackled her against the railing. She'd cried, then, yelled, wailed, again, until her throat was raw and her body was limp, and her brother had cradled her until she'd been peaceful again.

A Storm Is Coming - Howard Shore
[instrumental]

In some dreams, he reappeared, and when he reached to touch her, his hands were like fire, made her squeal in horror and despair. In others, he begged her for forgiveness, crawling. In every single one of them, she loved him, against her better judgment.

The Kraken - Hans Zimmer
[instrumental]

A dark shadow was looming over head. The dark thing opened its mouth, and she could only scream a word of warning as the fire rushed out and dread clogged her throat with its dark, strangling hand. It had brown scales that gleamed unnaturally in the starlit sky and its eyes were a strange glistening thing of black. The smell of sulfur filled Aredhel's nostrils, and she felt the warning die in her throat as she thought of her cousins Angrod and Aegnor.

10th Man Down - Nightwish
Deliver me from this war
It's not for me it's because of you
Devil's instant my eternity
Obey to kill to save yourself

Another arrow, then another, but in the night, it was hard to see, hard to keep a steady hand as the boat rocked and her body was slammed between the cabin's wall and the railing.

A Knife In the Dark - Howard Shore
[instrumental]

This time, her arrow hit the eye, but it did not stop the monster from opening its hellish mouth once more. Fire came, scorching and fearsome, and Ardhel recoiled, hiding from it as she could against the wet wood of the railing. Still, there were burns – were they on her hands? On her face? She could not tell, save that it hurt and the salty water made it only worse. The worst thing was that as she lost consciousness, she couldn't decide whether she was relieved or disappointed that it was all coming to an end.

Chapter Twelve: Unexpected Developments

The Mystic's Dream - Loreena McKennit
A painting hangs on an ivy wall
Nestled in the emerald moss
The eyes declare a truce of trust
then it draws me far away
deep in the desert twilight
Sand melts in pools of the sky
darkness lays her crimson cloak
lamps will call, call me home

The host was running out of breath, and thus it was decided that setting camp, if only for of the equivalent of a day, was a growing necessity. In the pitch black night that seemed to stretch on like an endless blanket, torches were lit in an effort to keep what lurked around them at bay.

House of Heroes - Battlelore
Heroes and fools,
all together, all the same,
statues of the restless
Gallery of the drowned and the pale

Feeling sheltered enough in their underground hovels, the hobbits had watched in rapt fascination as humanity set on the path to its own destruction.

The Legend of Ashitaka - Joe Hisaishi
[instrumental]

They were a small colony which had been decimated, slowly, bit by bit, by the growing human population. They had retreated deeper and deeper in the forests. They had been obliged to abandon their dear burrows, and some, tired of scavenging in hidden darknesses of the wild woods, had started migrating to the human cities.

Chapter Thirteen: Lessons In Humility

The Ride of the Rohirrim - Howard Shore
[instrumental]

There were problems. Turgon had spent all of his resting time pondering them. There were too many folk following them. Mostly, if they were to board a ship, they would not have enough supplies to feed them.

A Journey In the Dark - Howard Shore
[instrumental]

"You cannot let them down," he said, angrily. "They have waited for you to come, they believe in you, they will die whether they come or stay. At least give them hope. Please."

Night Tide - Evanescence
[spoken] Time slows...stops.

"We will be leading them to a slow and painful death," Turgon said darkly. "I would not be the one to bear such a weight when so much has already been lost."

Lament - Assemblage 23
[instrumental]

They were rooms of every size and every level of comfort but everything smelled of mud, rust and dust. It was unimaginable and saddening that this place had perhaps been these people's pride.

The Worlds Forgotten, the Words Forbidden - Sonata Arctica
No light
Only suffocating dark
Deep, burning pain
I'm losing everything I am
Remember nothing of my past
Now it's all gone
And I fear the game is over

e found him a touch too tall, a touch too proud, and there was no music to be heard. He had spent a long time reflecting on this matter, yet there was no face he could conjure from his memories of the past that seemed to resemble the elf's face.

Chapter Fourteen: Unnumbered Tears, Reprise

Hope - Apocalyptica
[instrumental]

She was dreaming. Again, and again. There was pain. She felt as though half her body was on fire. There were voices. There were touches. Somewhere, beyond her own ability to respond, she knew there was someone.

Moonlight Sonata - Ludwig Van Beeth
[instrumental]

“Tyelkormo, don't cry, please, you're breaking my heart when you sob like that.” She would reach into the empty air, as if trying to free him from whatever kept him captive.

Marble Halls - Enya
But I also dreamt which pleased me most
that you loved me still the same,
that you loved me
you loved me still the same,
that you loved me
you loved me still the same.

It was as though the world of the living no longer beckoned her, and she had already set foot in Mandos.

Listen to the Rain - Evanescence
Listen to each drop of rain (listen listen)
whispering secrets in vain, (listen listen)
Frantically searching for someone to hear
their story before they hit ground.

There were times where she opened her eyes to find gray eyes, just like hers, full of worry and sorrow. But she closed her eyes again, retreating in an oblivion that at least allowed her not to suffer.

Lothlorien - Enya
[instrumental]

“Ireth, Ireth, to you hear me, do you know me?” Fingon's voice was urgent, pleading, demanding. Her voice caught in her throat and she found that it was dry, aching and unresponsive. She nodded.

Frozen - Within Temptation
I feel the darkness on my shoulder,
The frost is in my heart.
So cold my hair is frozen,
Touching my skin, my flesh.

Yet nothing came forth, nothing to reveal to her the key to a new and strange enigma which she could not yet even name. It was there, waiting to be identified, but not certain and not clear, not even known or showing the shade of its silhouette. Just a teasing mystery in the afterthought of her bruised heart.

Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine
Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping
or lost you, American mouth

Aredhel closed her eyes, then. She had not wanted to speak of them. They were too vivid, too real, to saddening. There was enough to mourn about, without thinking on the fate of their lost cousins. Too much had come to pass, for her to consider the dreams in a light other than that of the fevers the dragons might have caused her. She blamed the water and the fire for her nights, and she would leave it at that, if she could.

Creative Endeavors: Take - oh whatever

2009-09-14T03:00:08Z

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Credits for the beautiful art go to pojypojy and zweihand; I can take no credit for the pretty part of these. ^^

Yes yes, I see that meme going around. I will get to it. Eventually. Maybe when I finish reading The Birth of the Republic. DX What, Sunday night and I haven't done my homework? FOR SHAME.

"winter is coming? bitch, bring it on..."

2009-09-05T21:27:43Z

Icons! A Song of Ice and Fire style.

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Collin Farell's Eyebrows Are Disturbed

2009-08-31T21:07:44Z

So I just now started reading about this kerfuffle and it has caught my interest in a curiously annoying way, though only slightly. I don't have much to say that isn't in one of those two well written posts, except that the whole thing is a little sketchy and the fact that it is for a book deal means - well. I don't know, I wouldn't want someone reading into my pron preferences as a basis for my desires in real life. The smut I have written is largely for (i) a pairing in which one of the people is underage or (ii) sadomasochistic and semi-nonconsensual. I would really rather not have that represent me, kthanks.

I think people who try to analyze fanfiction think a little too much about it. It always seems a little silly to me, all the people going on about the phenomenon of fanfiction as if it's the next...I don't know. Even. I don't have the words.

It's a hobby, if kind of a weird one, and I think people who have never tried it just don't get the appeal for the people who do. My thoughts, anyway. I'm aware of how subjective those are. And often irrelevant ahaha.

I will let people more eloquent than I express my problems with this shit.

Apparently I'm in a cranky mood today. Bitchbitchwhinewhine.

ETA: Also! This guy. *headdesk headdesk headdesk*

Son of Edit: A post summing up the fail going on here, and some more conversation at unfunnybusiness.

FST: RPG!AU: (You Are My) Sunshine

2009-08-31T08:19:02Z

Medium: RPG AU
Fandom: Silmarillion/Wayfarer Redemption series
Subject: Caranthir/Faraday
Title: (You Are My) Sunshine
Notes: Same goes for this as the last.

DOWNLOAD .ZIP HERE

Let Me Touch You For Awhile - Allison Krauss
[The flame no longer flickers,
You're feeling just like a fool.
You keep starin' into your liquor,
Wonderin' what to do.
I don't hardly know you,
But I'd be willin' to show you,
A way to make you smile!
Let me touch you for awhile.]

Desert Rose - Sting
[I dream of rain
I dream of gardens in the desert sand
I wake in vain
I dream of love as time runs through my hand]

Harbor - Vienna Teng
[Sail your sea
Meet your storm
All I want is to be your harbor
The light in me
Will guide you home
All I want is to be your harbor]

There She Goes, My Beautiful World - Nick Cave
[All the words you said to me
Still vibrating in the air
The elm, the ash and the linden tree
The dark and deep, enchanted sea
The trembling moon and the stars unfurled
There she goes, my beautiful world]

Forever Yours - Once On This Island
[I am a tree
Holding away the storm
Here in my arms
I'll keep you safe and warm
Even the gods
Won't dare to cross this line
Where my life is forever yours]

Rebecca- Meg & Dia
[My surroundings stirred and smeared.
His eyes calm and distant.
His mouth so severe.
Though half his age I was.
I've never been in love.
Before then.]

Pink Bullets - The Shins
[Over the ramparts you tossed
the scent of your skin and some foreign flowers
tied to a brick
sweet as a song
the years have been short but the days were long.]

Heavy - Holly Brook
[You can go heavy on me
And I will not weigh you down, down, down
You can be steady and clean
I can take it
Heavy on me
And I will not weigh you down]

Everything - Alanis Morisette
[I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
Who is as negative as I am sometimes
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here]

Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron and Wine
[Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere
Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth]

On the Way Down - Ryan Cabrera
[And on the way down
I saw you
And you saved me
From myself
And I won't forget
The way you loved me
On the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held onto you]

Truly Madly Deeply - Savage Garden
[I wanna stand with you on a mountain
I wanna bathe with you in the sea
I wanna lay like this forever,
until the sky falls down on me]

FST: RPG!AU: Beautiful And Strange

2009-08-31T07:24:38Z

Medium: RPG AU
Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire/Kushiel's Legacy
Subject: Phedre no Delaunay/Sandor Clegane
Title: Beautiful And Strange
Notes: Again, a request by tomboy_typist, entirely based on desperatefans AU canon.

DOWNLOAD .ZIP HERE

Protege Moi - Placebo
[Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me
Protect me]

Let Me Be Your Armor - Assemblage 23
[Let me be your armor
Let me be your shield
Let me take away the pain you feel (your armor)
Let me be the light
That guides your way through darkest night
Let me be your armor.]

Stromata - Charlotte Martin
[The clues to you and I are sprawling out like roads
And if we find a place for them they won't lead home
I only meant to say it once but it's too late
I'm into you and out again]

Gravity - Vienna Teng
[Look love
They've given up believing
They've turned aside our stories of the gentle fall
But don't you believe them
Don't you drink their poison too
These are the scars that words have carved
On me]

Sweet Surrender - Sarah McLachlan
[You take me in
no questions asked
you strip away the ugliness
that surrounds me
(who are you?)
are you an angel?
am I already that gone?
I only hope
that I won't disappoint you]

The Man With the Child In His Eyes - Kate Bush
[Nobody knows about my man.
They think hes lost on some horizon.
And suddenly I find myself
Listening to a man I've never known before]

Something There - Beauty and the Beast
[There's something sweet
And almost kind
But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined
But now he's dear, and so unsure
I wonder why I didn't see it there before]

Eric's Song - Vienna Teng
[And of course I forgive
You've seen how I live
I've got darkness and fears to appease
My voices and analogies
Ambitions like ribbons
Worn bright on my sleeve
Strange how we know each other]

The Athiest Christmas Carol - Vienna Teng
[It's the season of scars and of wounds in the heart
Of feeling the full weight of our burdens
It's the season of bowing our heads in the wind
And knowing we are not alone in fear
Not alone in the dark]

St. Stephen's Cross - Vienna Teng
[She found him standing, looking lost
In the shadow of St. Stephen's cross,
And he closed his eyes and heard no sound
But her breathing warm against his mouth.]

Hope for the Hopeless - A Fine Frenzy
[Stitch in your knitted brow
and you don't know how
you're gonna get it out
crushed under heavy chest
trying to catch your breath
but it always beats you by a step, all right now]

Nothing I've Ever Known - Bryan Adams
[Nothing I have ever known - has made me feel this way
Nothing I have ever seen - has made me want to stay
but here I am - ready for you]

Are You the One? - Timo Tolkki
[Are you the one?
The traveller in time who has come
To heal my wounds to lead me to the sun
To walk this path with me until the end of time]

FST: A Song of Ice and Fire: Bluebells

2009-08-31T07:02:49Z

I need to stop skipping dinner. Seriously. It means I end up with shaking fits of hunger right around now. >.> Thank god for literal midnight snacks.

Medium: Book
Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire
Subject: Ned/Catelyn
Title: Bluebells
Notes: So um, these are a little more than five songs. Surprised? This one requested by tomboy_typist. No particular arc, here, just general songs reminding me of the pairing.

DOWNLOAD .ZIP HERE

As I Sat Sadly By Her Side - Nick Cave
[As I sat sadly by her side
At the window, through the glass
She stroked a kitten in her lap
And we watched the world as it fell past
Softly she spoke these words to me
And with brand new eyes, open wide
We pressed our faces to the glass
As I sat sadly by her side]

Walking In the Air - Hayley Westenra
[We're walking in the air
We're floating in the moonlit sky
The people far below are sleeping as we fly
We're holding very tight
I'm riding in the midnight blue
I'm finding I can fly so high above with you]

Fallen Flowers - Steve MacDonald
[A smile comes to his face
An uneasy calm
In front of him, his life flashes by
Amidst his boyish charms,
he feels his mother's arms
In that painless moment, he hears her cry]

Whisper - A Fine Frenzy
[Eager to please,
Trying to be what they need
But I'm so very tired
I've stopped trying to find
Any peace in my mind
Because it tangles the wires]

Eversleeping - Xandria
[Once I travelled seven seas to find my love
And once I sang 700 songs
Well, maybe I still have to walk 7000 miles
Until I find the one that I belong]

Bluebells - Patrick Wolf
[I fell off the wagon
Into your arms
Into this long month of Sundays
And you were my husband
My wife, my heroine
Now this is our final December]

Memories - Within Temptation
[All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments,
Imaging you here.
All of my memories keep you near,
In silent whispers, silent tears]

Cry Over You - Fiona Joyce
[How can you say you didn't know
How can you say you never tried
How can you turn on your heels to go
Leaving your lover here to-
Leaving your lover here to
Cry over you]

Still Love - Holly Brook
[Every rain makes its way into somebody's song
As a way to relieve the pain
This one is calling me out of my shelter
To face the truth
But I still love]

Somewhere - Within Temptation
[Lost in the darkness, hoping for a sign
Instead there is only silence,
Can't you hear my screams?
Never stop hoping,
Need to know where you are
But one thing's for sure,
You're always in my heart]

The Sun Is Often Out - Patrick Wolf
[Street light walk the waters
Rising fast and dark and deep
Was your work of art so heavy that it would not let you live?
You'll be missed
Soon there'll be flowers in the river,
Tears being shed,
You'll be missed.]

Fairy Dance - James Horner
[instrumental]

Out of the Woods - Nickel Creek
[I rollercoaster for you.
Time out of mind
Must be heavenly.
It's all enchanted and wild,
It's just like my heart said
It was going to be.]

this post has several points, actually

2009-08-30T06:37:06Z

First of all AHAHAHAHA PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF I KNEW I WAS NOT HALLUCINATING OMG. *cough* Other than that...

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fic: The Nameless Horror, or Shit Like That

2009-08-29T22:31:00Z

The Prompt: Cal&Niko + Cthulhu mythos. How could I resist?

You know you’re in trouble when Niko starts looking grim about an assignment. And he wasn’t just looking grim about this one. It was more downright ‘shit, why did I take this job?’ grim. That didn’t bode well.

“Ever heard of H.P. Lovecraft?” He murmured, wandering over and swatting my hand away from my hair. “Don’t touch your head while you’re eating. You’ll get dandruff on the table.”

“If I’ve heard of him I certainly don’t remember anything about it. What was he?”

“A writer. His shtick was that humanity lived in an isolated little pod in the midst of a world that would drive them mad if they knew even part of the truth.”

“Sounds joyful. What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Our client.” He grimaced. “Either he wasn’t lying, or we have a serious nutcase on our hands.”

“And you said yes. Why in hell did you say yes? Not your job to save crazies from the impending doom of the entire world, we’re a little busy trying to do that already.” I had another large bite of pancakes.

“Your compassion for your fellow humanity is touching, Cal. I agreed because he’s proposing to pay us an absurd sum of money, most of it straight up whether he survives or not. I figure that’s a good deal.”

I sighed and leaned back in the chair. “Yeah, yeah, so I can get a new coffee table. Okay. Hit me with it.”

“Our guy – which is I guess what we’re going to call him, since he won’t give out his name – says that he’s being followed by cultists who are trying to kill him because of a research project he did five years ago studying the constructed languages of what is commonly referred to as ‘the Cthulhu Mythos.’ Well, he debated a little about the ‘killing’ bit. It might just be ‘using to summon eldritch horrors from space beyond’ which I gather about equals end of the world, if it were to work.”

“So we’re supposed to keep these cultists off his back. And how do we know what they look like, do they go around gibbering in forbidden languages with tentacles for feet, or are we just supposed to blow away anyone within fifty feet of this nut?”

That earned me a cuff from Niko, though lightly. “Don’t be flippant, Cal. We’re getting paid money here. At least keep that in mind, I know what that means to you.”

“Booze, girls, a better ride for you. Yeah, I know.” I put my feet up on the table and Nik promptly knocked them off.

“You can skip the first two of those, at least. We’ll talk about the car later. Let’s go meet our client.”

“If we’re lucky maybe he’ll be dead by the time we get there.”

“Cal.”

I shrugged, checked for the gun in my jacket, and started for the door. “At least we can get this show on the road. Blast some cultist ass. All in a days work.”

“Don’t try to be suave, Cal.” Niko was already ready, of course, right on my heels. “It doesn’t work.”

“I’m better at it than you. Not that that’s saying much,” I quipped, which got me another cuff but also a flicker of a smile. That was good enough for me.

Our guy turned out to be kind of a nondescript little fellow who looked just about like a young professor. Or else a hapless research student. He was hugging a couple books to his chest and looking around like he thought tentacled creatures from beyond were going to burst from the trees at any moment, his glasses slipped down his nose and his mop of blond hair reminded me powerfully of Donald Trump back when he might have had a full head of hair.

If he was really being hunted, I gave him about a week. Max.

“Are you the Leandros brothers?” He said in this little squeaky voice, like a mouse.

Maybe a week was generous.

“Yeah,” I said, before Niko could go and be polite, “Are you the-“

He managed to cut me off before I got to ‘nutcase’ by a hard elbow in the ribs and inclined his head. “We are. I am Niko – you spoke to me – and this is my brother Cal.” I watched his eyes flicker to me and grinned. It might not have been quite human. He definitely looked away fast. “I’m glad you were able to meet us. You implied that you might have more details for us – as well as payment.”

“Call me – Mr. Dorset,” he said in that ridiculous little voice, and looked around nervously. “May we speak somewhere else? This space is so – open.” He eyed an old man puttering around on a walker nervously. “Their spies are everywhere, and always well hidden.”

Definitely a nutcase. But we could humor him until he gave us the money, at least. Niko nodded. “Of course. Will that café do?” It was a cheap one, and seedy besides, but ‘Dorset’ nodded and we headed over.

I got a coffee, Nik got a green tea, and our client got nothing. He just sat down and started twitching. “So is there a reliable way to spot these cultist bastards?” I asked, thinking maybe if he could take he’d stop twitching. If he didn’t stop I might have to strangle him.

“N-not from a distance, no.” He glanced out at the sidewalk. “Closer – sometimes their eyes are unusually bloodshot, or their pupils too large.”

“Like a drug addict,” I said, dryly, “You sure they’re not trying to get a hit off you?” Niko shot me a look and leaned closer.

“Have they attacked you directly before?”

“Yes – a couple months ago, when I was still in my apartment, they caught me and would have –“ He shuddered, “But some people heard me and I managed to escape as they were fleeing, though I think they would have taken me with them.”

“And if they did – uh – take you with them, they’d kill you?” He didn’t smell wrong. Or that wrong, other than a vague stink I couldn’t identify. But he sure sounded crazy. Or seriously drugged up. I couldn’t smell everything, and besides, it smelled so much like piss around here maybe I wouldn’t catch something unusual if it were there.

“Or worse,” our guy said, and started twitching again. He made my muscles want to spasm, that way.

“Hold still,” I snapped, and made up my mind that Niko could just deal. “Now see here-“

It all kind of happened at once, then. Mr. Dorset jumped to his feet with a screech, pointing out the big glass windows, and then went down like a stone. One of his books hit the floor and fell open as I was trying to get to see if he was still fucking alive, and I swear to god a tentacle came out of the spine as thick around as my leg, wrapped around my neck, and yanked me off my feet.

My head hit the table hard with a sort of nasty crack that I wasn’t sure was the table, and that goddamn slimy thing was choking the breath out of me even as I groped for my gun-

Nik was still fast, though. His sword came out with a hiss and I saw the gleam of metal as it just went straight through that wriggling limb like butter, and it hissed and then it was gone, like it had never been, and I was gasping and retching on my hands and knees on the floor, face just a foot away from that fucking book.

It was smoking, smelled like acrid burning fuel. There was going to be a welt on my neck. And Dorset –

He was dead, all right, eyes bulging out of his head, and we were lucky the coffee shop was empty or nearly, because that green stuff he was leaking on the floor definitely wasn’t any kind of blood.

We dumped him – it – whatever, in an alleyway and headed for home. I could still feel the suckers on my neck.

“Niko,” I said, after a while, “Next time you want to take a job, how about making sure our client ain’t from another dimension first?”

Niko didn’t say anything. I guess he wasn’t amused.

fic: Distinguished Host

2009-08-29T21:18:43Z

The Prompt: Niko and Promise in Bram Stokerverse.

Turned out a little creepier than I meant it to... Disclaimer that I haven't read Dracula often or in a while.

May 3, afternoon. Arrived safely in Budapest, without incident, though locals seem peculiarly reticent and unwilling to speak with me. I attribute it to the fact that I am a foreigner, as though my distinguished host warned me that his reputation with the folk is not altogether savory and thus not to speak of it, I know not how they would have become aware of the object of my visit. Many seem not to speak English, though this may be a pretense to avoid conversation with me. I will not be perturbed by it.

My guide is of strange aspect, however, and I wonder if it is perhaps this malformed entity that leads to the shunning by the townsfolk of my distinguished host, or if that unwillingness to associate has led, rather, to the employment of such unsavory characters. I do not doubt that it proves a conundrum to the poor man, though, and hope he tolerates with good humor the ignorance of these people. I know well how those in rural areas cling to their superstitions, long past the time when good, civilized men of the cities have discarded such outdated notions.

I expect to arrive at the castle of my distinguished host by evening, though the roads here are in such condition that may be optimistic.

May 3, evening. The quarters here are spacious and accommodating – any trepidation I had about the isolation of my living arrangements in accordance with their condition is long since banished. My host seems to be out, for the moment, and so I am left to myself unexpectedly. The castle itself is a marvel – full of history, I have already noted architecture of a number of different styles combine within and without, as though the original builder were well traveled and worldly indeed.

I cannot, however, find any other bedroom, which leaves me with the question of where my host is staying, but I do not wish to pry overmuch. It is already exceedingly generous to allow me to stay here at all, and bother him with my studies. Much of a scholar’s life seems devoted to bothering those who would just as soon be left alone, so one as amiable as my distinguished host’s letters seem is a rare and especial pleasure, specially in this region.

But ah! I think I hear the door. Perhaps my host has arrived.

Postmarked May 4.

My brother,

You cannot imagine my surprise when upon arriving here I discovered that my ‘distinguished host’ was no host but a hostess! And a great lady as well, lovely and well-mannered, she lowered her head demurely and begged me to forgive her her small deceit, she was concerned that I as many men might underestimate her knowledge for being of the fairer sex. I assured her that through her writing I had already learned much more than I had expected and could only expect more of the same, but how surprised I am! I was thoroughly convinced that it would be a man hosting me, and am uncertain about being alone in this house with such a lady, with only that misshapen servant for company.

When she arrived, we took a late dinner, though she demurred to eat anything, claiming that she had fed while out. I cannot help but think that she watched me queerly the whole time, though, with such focus that I was nearly discomfited. I cannot tell what she is thinking, her gaze is so inscrutable! And her eyes are the strangest – the most unusual shade of violet. I could not help but comment on them, and she smiled in that mysterious, womanly way and would only say that they were a family heirloom.

After the late meal she allowed a few questions, and I asked her much about the castle and her life here, if she grew lonely. She seems still an amiable and forthright soul, and quite knowledgeable about a number of things – why, she speaks of the history of this place as though she were there herself for every day of it! Her name, she tells me, is Promise Nottinger, and on no occasion am I to call her Countess, but Promise. I cannot help but be charmed by her, dangerous as I know it must be for a scholar to become too attached to those he interviews, lest his bias interfere with his writing.

Speaking with her, the hours seemed to fly, and all too soon the clock tolled nearly five in the morning, and my hostess exclaimed, looking alarmed for the first time. “Oh, look at the time, and how I have kept you with my prattling,” she said, standing, distressed, and though I assured her that she had not by any means been dull or uninspiring, she would not hear of it, and shooed me off to bed almost as though I were a child. I took the moments to dash off this letter to you, letting you know that I am here and safe – if altogether too intrigued by my lovely hostess! – before collapsing into a sleep I am sure will be like the dead.

May 4, evening. My hostess only grows more mysterious instead of less, with every passing day! I woke late in the afternoon this day, after my long day and night yesterday, and found her vanished again, with no note or explanation. I wandered, again, and discovered a door I had not seen before, locked with bolt and key. I wonder at what in this empty place requires such security, but I will try not to think on it, as I’m sure it can be of no matter.

I became quite bored as time passed, and considered seriously venturing down into town, as even the company of those surly and unfriendly folk might be better than none, but ultimately I ventured to the stables – and found them wholly unhabited! Not a horse, or even an empty carriage to be seen, and certainly no sign of that coach that brought me here just this past evening. I can only conclude that it was a temporary hire.

However, to my relief, my hostess emerged just after dark, and apologized profusely for her absence, asking after my health. I noted her pallor and asked after hers, as well, but she waved off my concerns and we sat down to a second late dinner – which, again, the Countess did not partake of. If I did not know better – but I am not a superstitious man, and will not think such dark things of my gracious hostess. She has been nothing but kind to me.

We spoke again, for long hours, deep into the night, but not so late as before as I found myself quickly wearied and requested my bed. This unwonted weariness will hopefully pass by morning, so I can spend the more enjoyable time with such a gracious and beautiful lady.

Postmarked May 6.

My brother,

I am returning home at once.

I fear I have been gravely mistaken about the nature of my hostess and her intentions toward me.

This past night – and I hope you will not dismiss it as a dream or fancy, as I am certain of its reality – I woke from my peaceful sleep to find a shadow in my room. Fear overtook me and I nearly screamed, though I held it back and reached for my knife which I keep near out of habit, intending self defense. It moved too quickly, though, and caught my wrist, and I recognized the face, though seeing her teeth for the first time – the Countess’s canines were hideously elongated, pointed, and her skin was cold where she held me, her grip icy strong.

“Think of it as a guest tribute,” she murmured, and – dear God – bit me, her teeth piercing my flesh-

I flush to admit I fainted then, but when I awoke the light was up and there was no sign that anything had happened, save a few spots of blood on my nightsheets, but I knew, my brother, I knew that this had been no mere fever dream or hallucination, and that I had to flee at once. And I did – the door was locked, but I took a window, and fled down to the village, where I pleaded desperately – I must have seemed a madman – for the finance to get out of the godforsaken town. I was lucky in that they seemed to understand, and I fled…am now on a train back to England, where I will take a steamer across the water. I fear, though, that she will follow me – that creature of darkness, in the form of a woman sweet enough to beguile any man’s senses.

I pray to reach you before she does, or before she finds me…and at the same time, I do not. There is a strange kind of ecstasy in her touch that makes my blood cease to run…

Godspeed.

Niko Leandros

fic: In the Night

2009-08-29T19:57:43Z

The Prompt: WHAT IF LOVECRAFT WROTE A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE?

I had waaaay too much fun with it. Unedited, all that.

Tales in old locales oft seem to be associated with subjects as quaint as their place of origin, with a romance or else some lively humor involving the sprightly and joyous inhabitants of such a place. But such is not the case in the story of that drear place to the North of us, where no travelers go and animals shun as well with the instinctual fear that gives them wisdom; or else the knowledge that those of their kind who venture too close to that dread location oftimes never return.

An acquaintance of mine, one Bronn Blackwater by name, who has made himself notorious through his exploits in seeking distant and forbidden lands and uncovering eldritch and horrid secrets that mankind ought not to know, proposed a search into that unknown land to me, and being his closest friend and often having assisted him in his dreadful and blasphemous studies, I could not help but agree. So we packed ourselves for a long journey in dark and cold and traveled north to that place where winter still reigns king.

As we went, the nights grew longer and colder, but we were well prepared, and our fires kept the howling wolves that prowl great and hungry at bay, though Bronn did manage to slay one that crept too close and thereafter bore its skin like a cape. However, the farther we went, the fewer of even those dread beasts did we espy. This struck my heart cold, but my companion scoffed at my apprehensions. “Come, Stark,” he laughed, “The things that lurk in the dark are to be conquered, not feared. And so we will.”

In my heart, secretly, I feared nonetheless and thought of the whisperings of the mad prophet of Braavos, Abdul Alhazred, of the things that live in the deep places and those whose slumberings may be disturbed to the seeker’s peril by the proddings of curious man. But I knew that Bronn was fearless indeed and would not heed my warnings, and did not wish to seem a coward, so I said nothing and merely followed on.

In the cold night when we were far north of any known location, far past the last and most primitive hovels where the poor crouched and huddled around fires, their misshapen forms hardly lifting heads to stare as we passed by, our mule was panicked by something we neither saw nor heard and fled. Here, I wanted to turn back, but if anything the loss of our pack animal seemed to make Bronn more stubborn, more determined. He insisted on forging onward.

And so we did, ever further north, penetrating deep into the secret places where no foot had touched – no foot of known thing, anyway – for years and years gone. However, though the land was supposed to be deserted, we heard in the dark sounds, sometimes, like whisperings, insidious and creeping, and the ground seemed to glow when we woke in the night, as with the light of some daemon mushroom that sprouted only here in the nurturing and eternal darkness.

Our food seemed to go bad more quickly than it should have, and so we were at first relieved when I managed to snare a rabbit in those blighted and bare trees, but we were quickly horrified when we cut it open to discover that its flesh was all over infested with strange small black bugs, and had a queerly funguous texture. We discarded the thing at once, and almost I could have sworn to have seen it crawl away, a dead thing, and vanish into the roots of one of those dead and twisted trees that reached their clawed fingers toward the bleak and clouded sky during the brief daylight hours.

It was not so long after that that we found what we sought – the great ruins, known to some as Winterfell and to most simply by more horried, whispered names that should not be said aloud in the twilight hours or those to come later. The stones toppled and broken struck a queer sort of terror in me, but Bronn smiled in satisfaction and rubbed his hands together. “At last! We have arrived, at this the most terrible and forbidden of places, and who has come to stop us? We have nothing to fear. Let us spend the night in these ruins, and tomorrow we shall begin the exploration of them – and the conquest of any things still attempting to eke out an existence in this rotten place.”

I did not want to enter the ruins, and as I stepped among the stones a sense of terrible dread settled on my shoulders, but I obeyed, and we set up camp, lying down to sleep.

Midway through the night, we were both woken, by that queer whispering sound, as though of voices just out of reach, but this time I was struck not by the sound itself but by the sense that the voices came not of this world, that there was something awfully other about them, strange and terrible. An eldritch blue light seemed to fill the sky, penetrating even this eternal night, and though I raised my head and searched the darkness, I could see nothing, and hear nothing other than that damnable eternal whispering and a soft and nauseous hum, like the vibration of some great string. Bronn, too, was awake, and staring out into the ruins, his body as taut as a string as though he heard something that I did not.

“My friend?” I asked, and he shook his head.

“It is strange, that is all…for a moment, I imagined I heard human voices, as though carried on a wind from far distant.”

I shook my head. “Those are no human voices. Of that much, I am certain – and they mean us no good, either. I think we should quit this place at once.”

Bronn shook his head. “No! Especially not now. I will go searching tomorrow, and you may stay here if you wish, and the glory of my discoveries will belong to me alone, as it should. Your cowardice shames you, Stark.”

“I am no coward,” I said stiffly, and so when the morning came I went with him on his search.

We found nothing of the strange whisperers, or any source of the light, but we did come upon a door, set in the ground, heavy and metal and engraven with strange characters that made my spine chill. We made a rubbing of them, and then set to trying to lift it. It took both of us, with all our strength and using one of the blighted limbs of those strange trees as a lever, to lift it, and my uneasiness only increased as the door slowly rose. A strange scent wafted up from below, so strong it nearly like to made me faint. I held my ground, though, and Bronn thrust the torch at me and looked down into the black hole, grimly.

“I will go. I think…here, this is what we are looking for.”

I pleaded with him, tried to convince him of the folly of his choice, but he would not be swayed, and descended into the dark. It was not long before I could not see him at all.

I do not know what happened to my companion there in the dark. I heard no sound, no scream. But night began to fall and he did not return, and the dark frightened me, with its creeping whispers and the growing phosphorescence of that strange fungus under my feet.

I fear I shall never see Bronn again, nor the light of day. The things, the whisperers, are drawing nearer every day. The lights are bright enough that day is like to night, and I feel as though even if they do not take me the fear and the voices, the insidious and horrible voices will drive me mad, and I will be left a screaming wreck. I write this as a last chronicle, that anyone who finds this and what remains of me, if anything remains of me, may know their danger before it is too late.

Beware the north, beware its dark and endless nights, and the lure of mystery, for too many things are not meant for man to know, and will end him for trying. Here, this is the end of my sorry tale – goodbye, and have caution – run, traveler, while you can! When the whispers come and the lights appear, then it will nearly be too late- Iä, Iä, what dread things lurk in the dark watched by the crawling chaos Azathoth, waiting only for their chance to rise as the black faced Nyarlahotep capers endlessly in the outer reaches of the stars-?

FST: The Silmarillion: Farewell to Summer Days

2009-08-27T19:34:58Z

Medium: Book
Fandom: Silmarillion/AU
Subject: Being a soundtrack for this fic by tomboy_typist, by request.
Title: Farewell to Summer Days: A Soundtrack for "The Final Battle"
Notes: Roughly divided by chapter, with quotes! :D

DOWNLOAD .ZIP HERE

Chapter One: Painting the Colors of Grief
Long, Long Time Ago - Javier Navarette
[instrumental]

She was still crying bitterly. It could have been days, weeks, months, years or decades before she realized that she was no longer crying alone.

Harvest of Sorrow - Blind Guardian
[Harvest of sorrow, your seed is grown
In a frozen world full of cries
When the ray of light shrinks
Shall cold winter nights begin]

If she closed her eyes she could almost feel the touch of his hand on her face, his callused hand that held the sword too tight but never so much as put her hair out of place. If she closed her eyes…

Idumea - Patrick Wolf
[And am I born to die?
To lay this body down?
And must my trembling spirit fly
Into a world unknown -
A land of deepest shade,
Unpierced by human thought,
The dreary regions of the dead,
Where all things are forgot?]

“I care nothing for your compassion, if you do not give it to my love. I care nothing for the forgiveness of Mandos and for the beauties of Valinor. If my love is not here, then I will not look upon them with anything but disgust.”

Throw Me A Rope - KT Tunstall
[So throw me a rope to hold me in place
Show me a clock for counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone]

That night, she spent in the same clearing. Argon and her did not speak, but him, she let hold her, as she had so many times when they were children and he’d stumbled somewhere, when he was a lad whose heart was hung on a girl, unluckily, but this time, he did the consoling and she did the crying. There were no words.

I Need Some Sleep - The Eels
[Everyone says I’m getting down too low
Everyone says: "You just gotta let it go"
"You just gotta let it go"
I just gotta let it go]

Left to her tears of grief, freed from Nienna’s tears of compassion, Aredhel went back to the sweet little stream and lay her face to the earth. She cried herself to sleep...

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - Michael Ball
[Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.]

“Tears unnumbered indeed,” she told Nienna, bitterly, angrily. “You who are the beacon of compassion, the beacon of forgiveness and patience, how dare you tell me to be satisfied with the rotten present of forgiveness? I cannot be so selfish when the Dispossessed’s fate is not known to me."

Forgiven - Within Temptation
[You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven]

“But you will never have to contain my Tyelkormo, if you let me have him again. This, my lord, I promise you.”

Chapter Two: So It Begins

Antebellum - Vienna Teng
[I know our antebellum innocence
Was never meant to see the light of our armistice.
But how much would I give to have it back again?
How much did we lose
To live this way?]

A mix of rage and disbelief, horror and denial, and the want for an explanation, the complete refusal to believe that her beloved had done what they said he did.

This Weather - Patrick Wolf
[I am not going to set myself free here
I am following some dark fortune
Some circle in me
Hold back the wind
Hold back the rain
I want to live
To see good weather]

“Let Lady Nienna heal you, Ireth,” he pleaded, then. “You deserve the rest, until the end of time has come.”

Decade and One - Vienna Teng
[Been a decade and one
Been a decade and one so soon
Decade and one
Since I stood so proud
And so unsure]

And then... and then, maybe. She would see him again, and maybe at least she would have answers.

Fires At Midnight - Blackmore's Night
[On the hills the fires burned at midnight
Superstition plagued the air
Sparks fly as the fires burn at midnight
The stars are out and magic is here…]

The moons waxed and waned, the suns rose and set, but she ever remained, eyes fixed on the horizon, waiting.

Those Who Left - Murder By Death
[instrumental]

And then the Earth shook, and for a moment, fear gripped the hearts of the Eldar in Tirion and in Araman. The Earth shook, and a veil of darkness seemed for a moment to rise and fall, like a pulsing hand on the nape of the world's neck.

Far Above the Clouds - Mike Oldfield
[instrumental]

In Valinor, Finarfin sat on the seat of the Noldorin High King in quiet and sober splendor. His robes were impeccable and his eyes were steady.

Those Who Stayed - Murder By Death
[instrumental]

Aredhel did not say anything for a bit, too concerned by the implications. “It means that when we go into battle, we may lose.”

Chapter Three: The Endless Night
Feather Moon - Vienna Teng
[Feather moon
Scarlet sky
Living clouds
My blinded eye
Waters black
Wood in snow
Dead of night
How bright you glow]

She stood at the top of the fall and recounted her dreams. They had been strange, those dreams, full of a life she would never know, could never taste.

Count of Casualty - Patrick Wolf
[In this war without an end
What peace do you defend
In this war without an end
What peace do you depend on?]

The moon was nowhere to be seen, and fear, mixed with hope, roused within her soul once more.

Dark Wings - Within Temptation
[Dark wings they are descending
See shadows gathering around
One by one they are falling
Every time they try to strike us down]

They always started in the same place, near that stream she and Tyelkormo had loved so well. She got there and he was there, waiting, dressed in simple travel clothes and weary. Sometimes, he was bloodied, sometimes he only wore the look of one who had walked too long, a too solitary road.

Nightfall - Blind Guardian
[Nightfall
Quietly crept in and changed us all
Nightfall
Quietly crept in and changed us all
Nightfall
Immortal land lies down in agony]

There had been a deep gash in the fabric of the void that kept Morgoth contained, and the rebel Vala had stepped back into the fabric of reality, angry and intent on mischief as he ever was.

Born Yesterday [instrumental] - Rob Dougan
[instrumental]

It was war.

The World - .hack OST
[In blinded mind you are singing
A glorious hallelujah
The distant flutter of angels
They're all too far, too far to reach for you]

“Ireth speaks the truth,” he said gently. “Embrace yourselves, my children, for dark times are upon us and we may part for longer than we wish.”

Cold - Within Temptation
[Closer and closer, it's time to surrender
to the desire that you cannot mention
don't try to breathe
don't try to run away]

And so she sat upon the slope, and wept, for those she loved who were no more, for those she loved who were but soon may not be.

Moonlight - Kamelot
[Moonlight falling over me
Sail on where the shadows hide
Moonlight crawling down on me
Just like you could not compete with my pride]

And in the throng of fearful emotions and the deep sense of dread that filled her as the unending night flourished, the flower of hope bloomed inside her, that perhaps the sons of Feänor would rise again.

Chapter Four: Too Many Chiefs
The Howling - Within Temptation
[I hear them getting closer
Their howls are sending chills down my spine
And time is running out now,
They're coming down the hills from behind]

The endless night had brought upon the kindling of braziers on the fields of Valinor. No longer rooted in time's reckoning, Aredhel walked, a lone figure, silent and unheeded.

Leech Jar - Emilie Autumn
[instrumental]

In the Noldorin forges, Celebrimbor worked without taking any rest. She had seen him in passing, but the creative and energetic boy she knew had grown into a stranger, and she had remained quiet about her hopes and fears.

Stand My Ground - Within Temptation
[Stand my ground, I won't give in
No more denying, I gotta face it
Won't close my eyes and hide the truth inside
If I don't make it, someone else will
Stand My Ground.]

“Aerendil and Elwing have returned from the heavens, Ata. They brought down the Silmaril.”

Bloodbeat - Patrick Wolf
[no need for comfort
no need for light
I am hunting for secrets tonight
Eat the sorrow lick the spark
uh oh my blood beats dark]

“Yes. The Valar have once again dispossessed the Noldor, we can't even lead our own in battle. All that we did, our deaths on the field, nothing mattered, and---” She reached to silence him with a very gentle touch of her hand on his lips.

Prelude 12/21 - AFI
[This is what I brought you, this you can keep.
This is what I brought, you may forget me.
I promise you my heart just promise to sing.
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.]

Even if he were to rise again, what manner of a man would rise? Would he still know her, love her? What endless torments had he known? Would he still be the gentle man whose hands touched her so reverently, as if he feared to break her? Or would he be barely a shadow, broken beyond repair?

Chapter Five: Of Blood and Steel
Ghost Opera - Kamelot
[Walls so white
When your sorrows have a name
And day is dark as night
No remorse and no redemption]

It had been a long day, a long night, and moreso for the squabbles and the arguments that came forth.

Thorn - Blind Guardian
[So what can we do
With our lives
When it all begins
It's hard and
It's cruel
Will grace die in pain?
Will light ever rise again?]

They were small hosts, Finrod mused, grimly. Stiff and unprepared, weathered by millenia of seclusion, hidden away from the eyes of Men, the Naugrim seemed the most unready of allies.

Those You've Known - Spring Awakening Cast
[Those you’ve known
And lost, still walk behind you
All alone
They linger till they find you]

“I know what became of my cousin,” he told him, quietly. “He has risen again, though perhaps you would not know the man he now is.”

Furious Angels [instrumental] - Rob Dougan
[instrumental]

Some bitter ends, he felt, were best left to the unknown.

Chapter Six: Dusk Singer
My Medea - Vienna Teng
[So come to me my love
I'll tap into your strength and drain it dry
Can never have enough
For you I'd burn the length and breadth of sky]

There was a time where I hunted these woods with Tyelkormo. There was a time where light flooded Valinor and we had hope. Let me at least use these skills, now, she thought. And maybe, maybe... but the remaining thought was one she did not dare formulate entirely.

Bittersweet - Within Temptation
[All my thoughts are with you forever
Until the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you]

Then maybe, she thought, maybe – maybe on the battle field, if the Valar are merciful – maybe...

Epilogue - Patrick Wolf
[instrumental]

“You are asking me to help you find death,” Galadriel said, again. Her tone did not suggest sympathy. “Or are you seeking something else in the burning embers of battle?”

A Space Between - ThouShaltNot
[Billy was a car crash all he ever knew was pain
Lived a million million milliseconds never born again
No one say him coming plenty witnessed his remains
Leaving me - but I never knew him. Me? I'm just the rain
Leaving Billy to eternal rest, eternal rust
I soak the dust that covers him, wait for all the others
They all have names]

Aredhel wrung her hands, a little, and she felt her eyes stinging. “Then you know what I will find on the battlefield,” she murmured, “why not grant me at least this small mercy?"

Twilight and Shadow - Howard Shore
[instrumental]

On her way home, Aredhel tried not to cry – she did not know what to believe or what to hope, but at least her destiny was sealed. Like her brothers, she would find peace in battle. She had no illusions about her chances of surviving this, and no hopes of finding Celegorm again, now.

Say My Name - Within Temptation
[You touch my hand
These colors come alive
In your heart and in your mind
I cross the borders of time
Leaving today behind to be with you again]

Galadriel had crushed the last shreds of her hopes with her cryptic words.

Our Farewell - Within Temptation
[In my hands
A legacy of memories
I can hear you say my name
I can almost see your smile
Feel the warmth of your embrace
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?]

In the breaking march of the Noldorin host to the ports of Alqualonde, she took the kilmessë Lomelindi, dusk-singer, for the sweet irony of stealing one of Luthien's epesses, but also in the memory of her son, lost to the secrets of passing time. It was her last song, she felt, one of arrows, steel and blood, one of darkness and sorrow, and she would sing the sour tune onto its last note.

The Haunting (Somewhere In Time) - Kamelot
[Somewhere in time I will find you and haunt you again
Like the wind sweeps the earth
Somewhere in time when no virtues are left to defend
You've fallen deep]

The singing would come later, and the sweet irony of it was that it would not even be a swan's song.

Chapter Seven: Of Darkness, We Shall Rise
Conclusion - Apocalyptica
[instrumental]

The poverty, the dirt, the smells haunted him. In the distance, there had been towers of glass whose majesty impressed him. Up close, the stench of death and decay had taken over the once glorious metropolis. Nature had reclaimed its rights, and the metal rusted, the glass shattered, the colors faded.

Key of the Twilight - .hack OST
[Consolation, be there
In my dreamland to come
The key to open the door is in your hand
Now take me there]

Around a fire camp, in an alley under the dark towers, they spoke for a long time, until a bookish sort of youth who had twisted metal rims on his face suddenly lit up and screamed Elrond's name in recognition. He knew little of Quenya, but enough Sindarin for halting things to be said, and enough for the elves to learn a little of the twilight of mankind.

The Black Halo - Kamelot
[Darkness come tonight
I have no fear of what you hold
Darkness come alive
You are the stories I've been told]

It was long, once more, to go through large, empty, dead roads of a world that seemed like it wanted to be put out of its agony. It was dreadful to wander into another large town, hungry, barely fed, cold, where darkness beckoned more sadness.

Theseus - Patrick Wolf
[no surrender to a lover
or the wars of the news
of many blisses to uncover
a black sail billows, the sun hits a blade
and you are hungry, you are hungry for you]

Their ever growing mass of folk pushed them towards the derelict Home of the Brave, as they called it, and when he entered below the broken white dome, Turgon felt a sense of misery – that such was all the greatness that the Edain had achieved, and yet.... it felt meager, when he compared it to his own folk.

I Guess It Doesn't Matter Anymore
[I pulled along the side
And offered her a ride
Like the rolling mist she floated inside
As we pulled away
She had nothing to say
So I guess it doesn't matter anymore]

There was little to be found, and so after weeks of hoping for a clue, for the hidden folk of the metal caves, they were on the way to giving up.

Blackdown - Patrick Wolf
[Desire, desire
Deep down inside of me
You are not the maker
Nor the master of me]

Their numbers grew, and as they crossed, over and over, Turgon grew worried about how he would bring the host back to the point of meeting. There were not enough ships. There were too many smallfolk following, hoping for protection. There was not enough time.

sorry, really I am

2009-08-09T04:17:50Z

The "You Should Write..." Meme!
my thread here

I need this. Crack or silliness is even better. Comment away. I need to smash through this writer's block, even if only for fic - I feel like it'll make me feel better.

Doing a lot of thinking right now. Am going to get an appointment with my counselor at the very least.

FST: Black Jewels Trilogy: These Castles and Dreams

2009-08-09T04:07:20Z

Medium: Book
Fandom: Black Jewels Trilogy
Subject: Wilhelmina Benedict
Title: These Castles and Dreams
Notes: Requested by sakru_909 - by necessity, largely pseudocanon of my own. I see Wilhelmina as someone who is a lot stronger than she knows, but who tries very hard, constantly, to please everyone and puts herself dead last, after making everyone else happy. This makes her a very lonely, unhappy person. But she's sweet and good-natured, and tends to like more people than she dislikes.

DOWNLOAD .ZIP HERE

The Last Snowfall - Vienna Teng
If this were the last snowfall
No more halos on evergreen
If this were the last glimpse of winter
What would these eyes see?

Exodus - Evanescence
My black backpack's stuffed with broken dreams
20 bucks should get me through the week
Never said a word of discontentment
Fought it a thousand times but now
I'm leaving home

Whatever You Want - Vienna Teng
Never a real moment together but she understands: you're an important man.
Another late night. don't know if you're coming home or when. she's alone again.
But she goes on curating your domestic museum. she disappears in her loyalty.
She is a dress wearing a face in the doorway, opening her arms out to you

My Medea - Vienna Teng
Inside the labyrinth walls
There lies a tiny child who sleeps alone
And as the daylight falls
The wind becomes so wild across the stone

Nocturne in E flat major - Chopin
[instrumental]

White Rose - Heather Dale
White rose: queen of the summer,
White rose: queen of the fall,
White rose: the new guard will follow,
White rose: the old guard will fall.

Shalott - Emilie Autumn
She says, "How long can I live this way
Is there someone I can pay to let me go
'Cause I'm half sick of shadows
I want to see the sky
Everyone else can watch as the sun goes down
So why can't I

Anna Rose - Vienna Teng
Anna Rose it makes my heart smile
To know you give love so freely
Anna Rose it makes it worthwhile
Your love makes me see things so clearly
How it grows heaven knows
Anna Rose sleep well tonight

Hello - Evanescence
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry

Carrying You - Joe Hisaishi
[translation]
Father left me his burning desire.
Mother gave me her eyes.
The earth turns, hiding you.
Shining eyes, twinkling lights.
The earth turns, carrying you,
carrying us both who'll surely meet

The Swan - Clement Saint-Saens
[instrumental]

Castles and Dreams - Blackmore's Night
And the rains come down
And the stars fell from the sky
Oh, how dark the night...
It always seems those castles and dreams
Fade with the morning light

Elegy - Leaves Eyes
Teardrop on a fragile eyelash
She's looking like a dream
Hoping for some understanding
And answer or at least
Cunning word a single sentence
To restore her heart
Aching since the day I left her
Crossing lonely seas

Fairytale - Ludovico Einaudi
[instrumental]

Good Enough - Evanescence
And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.
Pour real life down on me.
'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.
Am I good enough for you to love me too?

Anastasia - Voltaire
I kept your room just as you left it
There's not a toy out of place
Just in case the fates are kind and you come back someday
I don't want to live without my little Anastasia

FST: Doctrine of Labyrinths: Don't Hurt Me/Touch Me/Trust Me

2009-08-09T03:22:39Z

Also two bonus songs: Team America World Police's America, Fuck Yeah and Ray Lynch New Age techno awesome Celestial Soda Pop.

And the first of two FSTs I've been meaning to post for a while. Because I need to feel productive. At least a little.

Medium: Book
Fandom: Doctrine of Labyrinths
Subject: Felix Harrowgate
Title: Don't Hurt Me/Touch Me/Trust Me
Notes: So...this is the third of Felix fanmixes I have made. I'm sorry.

DOWNLOAD .ZIP HERE

Eight Easy Steps - Alanis Morrisette
How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solve-able predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you
How to keep people at arm's length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone

Felix, in summation.

The Kid - David Wilcox
Late at night in the empty big top
I'm all alone on the high wire
Ladies and gentlemen, there is no net this time
He's a real death defier

Roughly in chronological order, so this is a younger Felix, the one we never really get to see.

Good Enough - Evanescence
Under your spell again.
I can't say no to you.
Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.
I can't say no to you.
Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly.
Now I can't let go of this dream.
I can't breathe but I feel...

My list of Felix/Malkar songs is waaaay too long. But this is another one. Definitely another one. It encompasses a lot of their relationship, and the reasons I think Felix is so drawn to him.

Out of Reach - Voltaire
You're the devil's own
You'll cheat and lie
and you won't stop until
you've stole the glimmer from my eye
but not tonight
Cause I won't let you
I know you want to
but not with me
It's all so clear to see
you can try to destroy me but not tonight
'cause I won't let you through
you can fight if you like some other time
you'll find I'm out of reach

Breaking free of Malkar. Sort of. At least trying.

Blood On My Hands - The Used
It's the me that I let you know,
Cause' I'll never show,
I have my reasons.
I hate to say that I told you so,
But I told you so.
There's blood on my hands like the blood in you.
Some things can't be treated so,
Don't make me,
Don't make me be myself around you.

Felix in all his relationships, with everyone, but most especially with Mildmay. Though in my head this one is really directed at Gideon.

Naked - Assemblage 23
Awake aware alone
Lost and far from home
I walk without these walls
So there is less to fall
I am naked
I have nothing left
My bones are picked clean
And riddled with regrets
Nothing can touch me
I've nothing left to take
For I am naked
But I can never break

Felix when he's mad as a hatter. Or any time, really, but especially insane, or in a depressed mood.

Every You Every Me - Placebo
Carve your name into my arm.
Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed.
Cuz there's nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.

This one shorelle suggested and I can't find just why it fits, but it does. So here it is.

Who Will? - Patrick Wolf
Who will lay me down in green pastures
Or lead me from the burning sand
Who will be the one to lay their cards down
And always hold the winning hand

In one of his more wistful I-just-wanna-be-loved moods. Wanting someone to reach out. Kind of goes with "Who Will Love Me Now" that I used earlier for him.

Emptiness - Unto Ashes
(no lyrics here)

Ghosts - Assemblage 23
Inside a culture of spiritual violence
Demons singing like creatures of light
Smiling faces awash in hypocrisy
Vending salvation that no one invites

More mad Felix, though this one is leaning more toward the Mirador end of things, where the feeling of being trapped and alone makes him lash out. At Mildmay, usually.

Vulture - Patrick Wolf
Down in Santa Monica
suicide motel
One date with the devil
Seven days in hell
Mother don't worry,
I see the boy is doing fine
Home in a hurry
And be seen with good time

Edgy-tetchy-snarky-nasty Felix. In all his glory. The one you wish you'd never meet. Or else want to smack around. But he's there nonetheless, and hard to avoid all the time.

Awake - Assemblage 23
Every time I close my eyes
The noise inside me amplifies
I can't escape
I relive every moment of the day
Every misstep I have made
Finds a way it can invade
My every thought
And this is why I find myself awake

This is part of my pseudocanon again - that Felix has, for a long time, had trouble with insomnia, because he can't stop thinking and because of his nightmares. So here it is, the consequences of that attitude during the day; long, dark, empty nights.

The Chosen - Voltaire
First time I had sex, I was three.
First time consenting was thirteen.
Though you weren't there
you remind me of those hands.
Roses are red, violets are blue
if I'm schizophrenic, then I am too
Whatever it takes to escape

More sleepless nights, more tetchy Felix. This one right around the end of The Mirador where he's really starting to crack. Or - splinter, more like.

Magpie - Patrick Wolf
Magpie, was it you who stole the wedding ring?
Or what other thieving bird would steal such hope away?
Magpie, i am lost among the hinterland,
caught among the bracken and the fern,
and the boys who have no name.

The journey to Corambis.

Protege Moi - Placebo
(translation)
Dreams of happiness lost,
The time we have done nothing (Dreams of innocence gone)
We're left with a lifetime to cry,
And now we are all alone.

To end on a Felix note. Because I'm not going to give him a happy ending. Not even in fanmix. Of course not.

FST: The Silmarillion: Burns Like the Sun

2009-08-01T00:44:58Z

Medium: Book
Fandom: The Silmarillion
Subject: Feanorians
Title: Burns Like the Sun
Notes: So this is pretty much - by many ways a lot of pseudocanon. Explanations will be offered. But I was pleased enough with it I wanted to share. Please ignore the lack of variation in artists. *gurgles* Also, fanmixes that were properly requested are in construction. Except Lymond, who is being difficult.

.ZIP DOWNLOAD HERE

Sunburn - Muse
I'll feel a guilty conscience grow
S(he) burns like the sun
And I can't look away
And she'll burn our horizons make no mistake

For the patriarch of the family. Feanor's on fire, and he pretty much has absolute power over his family and especially his sons. Disobedience, I don't think, is something that even occurs. He's just that kind of personality, to command absolutely loyalty and nothing less.

Fight Fire With Fire - Kansas
Oh there's nothing to lose
Cause it's already lost
In a runaway world of confusion
I'm not gonna take it
That's why I fight fire with fire
Oh I'm burning inside and my head is a crying

The reasons why things went the way they did, in my head, are innumerable. But one of them, I think, was an inability to stop the momentum once it started, and gradually not wanting to, because the feeling of power and to some degree being feared goes to one's head. And also the fire metaphors here. Because.

Never Forgive - Assemblage 23
You haven't seen the worst of it yet
Your name
A foul epithet
Never forgive... never forget

For Morgoth, and anyone who gains the enmity of this family in general. You're going to get it, sooner or later. Because they don't forget, certainly, and I don't think forgiveness is probably something they're great at either. Just a guess.

Prepare for War - Dragonforce
Rage and fear, from skies above the fire, fuels my veins!
Destruction of humanity, the everlasting flame!
Cast away, no turning back, from long forgotten shores!
We'll show no mercy as they fall!
The fire burns inside!
Now prepare for war!

...look, I had to have a little Dragonforce in here. And this song was too perfect, in my head for Losgar. And, yes, more fire references. And please, 'no mercy' and fire and 'long forgotten shores?' It was begging for it.

Skyquake - Assemblage 23
Take what we need at our convenience
Another quick means to an end
Too busy thinking of excuses
For a practice we can not defend
Collapsing under its own weight
The sky burns out
As we kiss oblivion
Upon its toothy mouth

They have to realize, somewhere, that this can't last, that it's not a sustainable way of being. I guess the idea is just that it doesn't matter, or maybe that it can't matter. There are always excuses, even when plunging blindly into your own doom and everyone else's. Doom, even.

The Fire Still Burns - Dragonforce
Tonight!
Falling like the rain, insanity lives on.
Feel the shattered dreams, one thousand voices crying, raging endlessly they come.
And the morning light will hide the darker days gone by,
And the Sun will shine again across the blazing skies.
Glorious eternally, we'll rise above the World,
Marching on till victory we fight!
The Fire still burns!

Same here, really. More fire, yay! And the sense of determination and 'we-are-going-to-fuck-your-shit-up' worked for me. I went with the feeling. Plus, it mentions insanity. ...:D

Cry of the Brave - Dragonforce
Through the wastelands forever and on
Still we fight on for our freedom
The cry of the fallen souls bleeding
Forever journey through the lands of ice and snow
Will we face all the fears of the world?
The cry of the brave

Last of the Dragonforce, I swear! But I don't have much to say here that hasn't already been said, except it's still that same Oathy Obsession we all love. Obsessive Elves are clearly not a good thing.

White Light - Vienna Teng
If you knew it was wrong why did you do it
You don't know, you didn't mean to, it slipped your mind
And it feels so good to feed a habit
You're just making the most of your borrowed time
Waiting for the white light

More excuses. This one from those ex-best-friends who don't understand, quite, what the hell is going on. And this is the breaking point, where you can't pretend you don't know anymore, that something is off and wrong and bad, and it's admitting that it's not okay, but it's still there anyway. Or something like that. A lot of this is instinctual, can you tell?

Hope On Fire - Vienna Teng
Gotta fight, gotta strike
'Cause there's no turning away
From what you don't want to know
Gotta see, gotta be
If they're all going astray
Don't let them take you in tow

But you know, even if you're losing all your friends, there's still no stopping this runaway train. Even if everyone else fails, after all...now that you've admitted you're condemned, there's no point pretending not to be anymore. Go ahead, go all out. A whole new kind of determination.

Heaven's A Lie - Lacuna Coil
Oh no, here it is again
I need to know why did I choose to betray you
Something wrong with all the plans of my life
I didn't realize that you've been here

In my head, this one is sort of based on the idea behind one of my more recent Silmfics, 'Layers of Years and Glass', which is about Celegorm going off his rocker entirely after Aredhel dies. After all, she was the most normal part of his life, and it's only after she's dead that really bad shit starts going down.

Blindhammer - Assemblage 23
All our fathers' backs are broken
And our prophets are insane
There is no one left to guide us
No catalyst for change
We are too young to know better
But frailty comes with age
So we run towards Armageddon
While our legs still have the strength

As days draw on and things get worse, there's even more of a feeling of running into your own destruction. There's a kind of awareness, toward the end, that we're screwed and there's nothing to do, so just keep going while you can. By the finish, none of this family were really living like they expected to have more than a week.

Falling - Lacuna Coil
And now the beat inside me
Is a sort of a cold breeze and I've
Never any feeling inside
Around me...
Bring my body
Carry it into another world
I know I live... but like a stone I'm falling down

Kind of with the above one. There's despair there, and not much else, especially, one has to think, for people like Maglor, who had to have seen some of what was coming at least a little bit before. And watching all your siblings die can't be fun.

Across the Universe of Time - Hayley Westenra
When the sea falls from the shore
As the light sinks low, will I see you any more?
As the rain falls from the sky
Can I bring you back, from a distant lullaby?

Requiem for dead siblings. Have it.

Swamped - Lacuna Coil
Destiny can't replace my life
Scary shadows of my past are alive
Destiny who cares as it turns around
And I know that it descends with a smile

A song for Maedhros, who ultimately is the responsible one for leading all of this. That has to suck. And beginning to understand the weight of the Doom of Mandos and what it means, and that this is how it's going to end. Because really, options are limited...

Forsaken - Within Temptation
While we thought we were gaining,
We'd turn back the tide, it still slips away.
Our time has run out, our future has died,
There's no more escape.
Now the day has come,
We are forsaken,
There's no time anymore.
Life will pass us by,
We are forsaken,
We're the last of our kind.

...and God actually does hate you. So, you know. That makes things hard.

Hero - Skillet
It's just another war
Just another family torn
Falling from my faith today
Just a step from the edge
Just another day in the world we live

In my head this is for Maglor, because in my head, he can sort of see where things are going, and it's nowhere good, but on the other hand he's kind of trapped where he is, by his loyalty and love for his brothers.

Away - Assemblage 23
Run away, run away
Run away from the setting sun
Run away, run away
Run away from the things you've done

But there is no running. Not from everything, and not forever. DOOOOOMED.

Final Destination - Within Temptation
I escaped my final moment
But it's turning back at me
On every corner I can feel it waiting
Just a moment, no awareness
I could easily slip away
And then I'll be gone forever

Like I said. DOOOOOMED. And knowing that your death is waiting for you around any corner, any one of these days, has to be in the back of their heads, and not a particularly comfortable thought. Think about it.

Ghosts - Assemblage 23
Are we just living ghosts
Waiting to be freed?
Stuck at a tipping point
We never dare exceed
And what if no one comes
To liberate our souls?
And all of this is all there is
To make us whole?

The last ones standing, after the Sack of Doriath. Shadows of what they were, or ghosts. Nearly lost everything by now. One of them is already half dead, and one of the remaining three has no real heart left for any of it.

The Queen and the Soldier - Suzanne Vega
Out in the distance her order was heard
And the soldier was killed, still waiting for her word
And while the queen went on strangling in the solitude she preferred
The battle continued on

No getting away from some things. Pityo dies, the end is nearer than it seemed, and still the battle continues on.

Lament - Assemblage 23
instrumental

The Ruin of the House of Feanor."

Nowhere Man - Paul Westenberg (cover)
He's a real nowhere man
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody
Doesn't have a point of view
Knows not where he's going to
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Maglor. "Unable to bear the suffering, Maglor cast his Silmaril into the sea. Thereafter he wandered along the shores of the world, singing laments over the loss of the jewel, until he faded from memory..."

Dark Horse On the Wind - Susan McKeown
Oh those who died for liberty
Have heard the eagle scream
All the ones who died for liberty
Have died but for a dream
Oh rise, rise, rise, Dark horse on the wind
For in no nation on the earth
More broken hearts you'll find.

~fin~

Cover art by Jenny Dolfen, and no, there is not another Felix mix half finished in my compute, why do you ask >.< (this would be my third. If I were making it. I am not. Shhh.)

quick update post two!

2009-07-23T04:41:59Z

This one to announce that thewitchhouse has OFFICIALLY STARTED - those already on the roster, get on over and just reply to the main post, start tagging, etcetera. Don't bother with intro posts for the moment. The nighttime cycle will start probably on this coming Sunday; short day today, folks.

Secondly, I saw this picture:

And thought of Feanorians. And felt like a bad person. And want to make an icon that says that, then adds in, 'because you killed them.' And cuts to 'got Feanorians?'

It amuses me, at least. XD

Other than that, will get to that character meme when I'm no longer scurrying around trying to upload playlists of epic, epic awesome.

ETA: Hem.

FST: At the End of All Things: The Ultimate Epic Finale Playlist

2009-07-23T04:06:28Z

Fandom: General
Subject: EPIC FINALES!!!!
Notes: Really a whole arc of a story, but it's hella epic. No, really. Trust me. No lyrics, here, just a track listing divided roughly by section... Of course, inevitably, a lot of soundtrack. That's what happens, babe.

ZIP FILE HERE

I. RISING ACTION

1. In Noctem - Nicholas Hooper
2. Opening - Nicholas Hooper
3. The Girl Who Fell From the Sky - Nicholas Hisaishi
4. Vois Sur Ton Chemin - Bruno Coulais
5. Journey to the Cemetery - Andrew Lloyd Webber
6. The Fairy & The Labyrinth - Javier Navarette
7. Short Hair - Jerry Goldsmith
8. Combustion - Cellofourte
9. Path - Apocalyptica
10. Dominant - Emilie Autumn

II. THE CLIMAX

11. I Know What You Are - Carter Burwell
12. Whisper - Evanescence
13. Nomads - Carter Burwell
14. Journey to the Cave - Nicholas Hooper
15. Knights of Cydonia - Muse
16. The Blitz, 1940 - Harry Gregson-Williams
17. The Bridge of Khazad-Dum - Howard Shore
18. Ghost Love Score - Nightwish
19. The End of All Things - Howard Shore

III. THE END

20. Twilight and Shadow - Howard Shore
21. Farewell - Apocalyptica
22. Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns - Michael Giacchino
23. The Collapse of Laputa - Joe Hisaishi
24. Maximilien - Michiru Oshima
25. A Princess - Javier Navarette
26. Dumbledore's Farewell - Nicholas Hooper
27. Meadows of Heaven (Orchestral) - Nightwish
28. King of Pride Rock/Circle of Life - The Lion King (Broadway)
29. Lullaby - Assemblage 23

...yes, that is a sad ending you hear there. It's me, what do you expect?

FST: Caliban Leandros: This Thing of Darkness/I Acknowledge

2009-07-21T07:17:42Z

Fandom: Caliban Leandros Series
Fandom Medium: book
Subject: Caliban Leandros
Title: This Thing of Darkness/I Acknowledge
Notes: Revisited version of one I did a while ago, new songs and some old ones, definitely changes, though.

ZIP DOWNLOAD HERE.

i. THIS THING OF DARKNESS

Help Me I Am In Hell - Nine Inch Nails
[instrumental]

The Night - Voltaire
[the day is the wife whom I elude
the one to whom I should bebride
although forewarned by peers and kin
I always get into the night
mother always warned me such
being a nocturnal such
besides just being simply strange
spawns from some illness of the mind]

Rev 22:20 - Puscifer
[Don't be aroused by my confession,
Unless you don't give a good goddamn about redemption
I know Christ is coming
But so am I
You would too if the sexy devil caught your eye
She'll suck you dry
But still you'll cry to get back in her bosom
To do it again]

The Stranger - Billy Joel
[Well we all have a face
That we hide away forever
And we take them out and
Show ourselves
When everyone has gone
Some are satin some are steel
Some are silk and some are leather
They're the faces of the stranger
But we love to try them on]

Wild Chase - Edenbridge
[And over the valleys I ride
The wild chase a-glow
Cause my restless heart's in a constant flow
The bliss of the moment in me
It's like ambrosia
A dovelike temptation for me
The wild chase is my endless symphony]

We Are Wolves Here (Electric City) - David Usher
[Fell so deep
If we could live to tell what our eyes have seen
We are wolves here
And so I held you tight
Dared to confess
So you can feel my body steal each breath
We are wolves here]

Jack the Ripper - Colin Meldy
[Crash into my arms
I want you
You don't agree -
But you don't refuse
I know you]

Our Truth - Lacuna Coil
[Wicked partnership
In this crime
Ripping off the best
Condescending smile]

Overture - Patrick Wolf
[It's wonderful what a smile can hide
If the teeth shine right and it's nice and wide
It's so magical what you can keep inside
And if you bury it deep no one can find a thing, no.]

Can't Complain - Nickel Creek
[I made her smile I made her cry
I cleared her head and made her wonder why
I helped her live and made her want to die
But she can't complain, she can't complain]

Mechanical Lullaby - Coraline Soundtrack (Bruno Coulais)
[instrumental]

ii. I ACKNOWLEDGE AS MINE

Fairytale - Ludovico Einaudi
[instrumental]

Goodnight Demonslayer - Voltaire
[Goodnight demon slayer, goodnight
Now it's time to close your tired eyes
There's devils to slay and dragons to ride
If they see you coming, hell they better hide
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight my little slayer goodnight]

Monster - Meg & Dia
[Monster
How should I feel?
Creatures lie here
Looking through the window...]

Half A Week Before the Winter - Vanessa Carlton
[I carry on, I carry...
All the weight of empty promise
As I stand swallowed by the light
Flickering above the highway
I hold my head and know the streets are mine tonight]

Lullaby - Assemblage 23
[May you find solace in the gentle arms of sleep
Despite the wolves outside your door
In time you will see them all as harmless
And their idle threats easy to ignore
And if ever fate should choose to smite you
Stand your ground, never walk away
Please don't ever let the world defeat you]

Saturdays - Holly Brook
[Saturday what a day what a silly little day
Time to kill take a pill as I sit and contemplate
How I'd like to be around all the people in the town with their fancy cars and things
But I've got time]

Soren Grey (Frequency Unknown) - ThouShaltNot
[She'll never speak your name
For fear of looking in
To the past that was
For that which might have been]

Combustion - Cellofourte
[instrumental]

Call Me - Shinedown
[But nothing really lasts forever
I had to make a choice that was not mine,
I had to say goodbye for the last time
I kept my whole life in suitcase,
Never really stayed in one place
Maybe that's the way it should be,
You know I've led my life like a gypsy]

Wonderwall - Oasis
[And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how
Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?]

Let Your Silence Sing - ThouShaltNot
[I'll take the world on my own terms
I want disease but not the germs
I want the moon to cling to me
So let your silence to sing to me
An endless endless symphony
Till all I lost instinctively returns]

Adia - Sarah McLachlan
['cause there's no one left to finger
there's no one here to blame
there's no one left to talk to honey
and there ain't no one to buy our innocence]

In Noctem - Nicholas Hooper
[instrumental]

Song From A Secret Garden - Alexander Rybak
[instrumental]

FST: Gentleman Bastard Sequence: The Devil You Know

2009-07-18T05:53:54Z

Medium: Book
Fandom: Gentleman Bastard Sequence
Subject: Locke Lamora
Title: The Devil You Know
Notes: Vaguely in chronological story arc order, over the first book (not the second. I only felt like doing the first.) Comments are f'love, enjoy! Comments with lyrics when applicable, and one quote. Some spoilers, vaguely.

ZIP DOWNLOAD HERE

intro : You Are the Last Dragon – Murder By Death

[Fill up your mouth with smoke hourly and wash it down into your body these are directions that come with a tag you'll jerk awake when your name's called you can't tell the difference between seeing something new and breaking what you already have.]

Ordinary World – Get Set Go

[Another ordinary day
In an ordinary world
With ordinary boys fucking ordinary girls
In an ordinary time
So ordinary that we are losing our minds
So whatcha gonna do
The choice is up to you]

Every story needs a setting. This one? Camorr. Welcome to it. Charming little corrupt sinkhole of a city. But it’s perfect locale for…

Kids In America – Kim Wilde

[Come closer honey thats better,
Gotta get a brand new experience feeling right,
Oh, don't try to stop baby hold me tight,
Outside a new day is dawning,
Outside suburbia calling, everywhere]

…the Gentlemen Bastards. Dissatisfied young men, what? Well, the image fits, to some degree. And they’re certainly living it up.

Only the Good Die Young – Billy Joel

[You might have heard I run with a dangerous crowd
We ain't too pretty we ain't too proud
We might be laughing a bit too loud
But that never hurt no one]

Seduce who to what way of life? Or, you know, just general sweet talking. You know Locke’s good at it – or would be, if he made the effort.

Tristan – Patrick Wolf

[Forever young
I come from God knows where
'Cos now I’m here
Without a hope or care
I am trouble
And I am troubled too
My name is Tristan
And I am alive]

Locke Lamora himself. Young, wild, and free as hell. Or so it seems.

Holiday – Green Day

[I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On holiday]

Rules are overrated.

Citizen of the Planet – Alanis Morissette

[Then I fly back to my nest, I fly back with my nuclear but everything is different
So I wait, my yearn for home is broadened, patriotism expanded by callings from beyond
So I pack my things nothing precious all things sacred]

Locke, the traveler. Or at least, the worldly. Or at the very least, the pretends to be worldly. If nothing else, he knows Camorr.

Gone With the Wind – Blackmore’s Night
[Snow was falling
I could hear the frightened calling
Fear taking over every man
Life meaning nothing more than sand...]

Sometimes there are doubts. The beginnings of a sense of unease, and maybe the start of a bargain.

Center of the Universe – Kamelot

[Move slowly
Beyond the colors on my eyes
Move slowly
Into the corners of my mind
Rising like the Pegasus
Each and every one of us
Released
Islands in the sea of dreams
Always searching harmony]

Miss Kiss Kiss Bang – Alex Sings Oscar Swings

[Mrs Kiss Kiss Bang, she’s not a fool
Extraordinary and oh so cool
When I feel the touch of her sweet lips
I know this is a devil’s kiss
She sets my soul on fire with no return
Oh baby, just burn, burn, burn]

I had to have one song for Sabetha on here. I chose this one for her. I like it. It fits, in a funny kind of way. :D

Looking Outside Inside – Anathema

[Twisted face of fading beauty
count the cost of suffering
cannot see the day before you
only feel what's deep inside
try to change it makes no difference]

Time Of Our Lives – David Usher

[I once saw a man on fire
Staring at his window
Watching as the flames grew higher and higher
I thought that i saw him cry
Or was he only laughing
As his life went rushing on…]

Locke, throughout life. This song has always fitted him for me.

Theseus – Patrick Wolf

[so once you've killed the minotaur
how you gonna find your way out of the maze
here the jealous hand of bitter men
carve the meat before the table is laid
and they are hungry, they are hungry for you]

Time – Aemen

[You, you always make me try.
to swallow all my pride.
It doesn't make it easier.
time when time is on youre side.
There's something on your mind.
It doesn't make it clearer.]

Dark Alan – Karen Matheson

[O hi shiubhlainn leat
Hi ri bho, ho ru bhi,
Hi ri bho, ho rionn o ho,
Ailein Duinn, o hi shiubhlainn leat]

Smells Like Teen Spirit – Vitamin String Quartet

[instrumental]

EdenEcho – Kamelot

[First you said that you would never leave me,
Merry were my days.
Then you told me life is never easy,
And left without a trace.
But how come I want you,
Like the soil yearns for the rain?]

The end of the Gentlemen Bastards.

Moondance – Nightwish

[instrumental]

Hard Times – Patrick Wolf

[Divided nation
In sedation
Overload of information
That we have grown up
To ignore...
Mediocrity applauded
Through these hard times]

Hero – Heather Dale

[You think if you set the price they'll turn me in
You think that when I'm up upon the pike you'll win
They'll say that I was fighting
For the spirit of the law
What will they say about you
When I'm gone]

When Locke’s on the side of the establishment, there’s something odd going on.

Fool’s Gold – Blackmore’s Night

[Cause when you've only Fools Gold,
you've got nothing more to lose...
Who holds the riches
The jester or the king?
A fortress made from Fools Gold
Or the tears that treasure can bring?]

This Ship’s Going Down – Voltaire

['Cause this ship's going down
All on account of the weather
Though we'll drown
There's no need to frown
'Cause we're all going together
And I won't say "Woe is me"
As I disappear into the sea
'Cause I'm in good company
As we're all going together]

Wander – Kamelot

[Silently we wander
In search of truth and confidence
So many hopes were lost here
Along the way
From morning to night]

The Show Must Go On – Queen

[Another hero - another mindless crime.
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime.
Hold the line!
Does anybody want to take it anymore?
The Show must go on!
The Show must go on!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My make-up may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!]

Not finished with Locke Lamora yet. And you never are.

Knights of Cydonia – Muse

[No one's gonna take me alive,
The time has come to make things right,
You and I must fight for our rights,
You and I must fight to survive]

Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns – Star Trek Soundtrack

[instrumental]

Killing the Grey King.

If I Ever Lose My Faith In You – Sting

[You could say I lost my faith in science and progress
You could say I lost my belief in the holy church
You could say I lost my sense of direction
You could say all of this and worse but
If I ever lose my faith in you
There'd be nothing left for me to do]

"Leave me, Jean. I’ll be dead…just a few minutes. They won’t get anything from me. You can still get away. Please…leave me.”
Jean’s face turned bright red – a red that showed even by the light of the alchemical globes – and his eyebrows arched, and every line in his face drew so taut that Locke found the energy to be alarmed.“That is a hell of a thing for you to say to me.”
</i>

This Game – One Star Story

[This empty feeling, blame it on me
Do I deserve this? I must deserve this
My soul is sinking; guilt watches me
What is my purpose? I must have purpose
So I stop and breathe]

Measure of a Man – Heather Dale

[The measure of a man
Stands or falls with what he leaves behind
Gather on the sand
Let your voices carry to the sky
Rise in light
Let the gods look down on this and wonder]

Requiem for Locke Lamora.

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